


Attempted Domesticity and All the Ways It Can Fail

by Vrisrezi_Rights_Inc



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood & Gore, Earth C (Homestuck), F/F, Minor Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Minor Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, More tags will be added if needed, Post-Canon, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-10-19 18:21:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20661671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vrisrezi_Rights_Inc/pseuds/Vrisrezi_Rights_Inc
Summary: Terezi Pyrope and Vriska Serket attempt to adjust to their new lives on Earth C. But as they settle down, they find that there's much needing to be unearthed about their relationship, and happily ever afters require quite a lot of work. In fact, they may not exist at all.—Written by Rain & Wing





	1. The Furthest Ring

  
Your name is Terezi Pyrope. Today is a day lacking significance for you. It wouldn’t matter even if it did hold significance, as no one is around to celebrate such a hypothetical significant day with you. In fact, no one is around at all. There is an unsurprising lack of people just hanging out in the Furthest Ring, aside from yourself, that is. 

As you already know, you are on a mission. No one goes out to the Furthest Ring just to relax and message friends and whatnot. No, you’re searching for someone. Someone whom you haven’t seen or talked to in quite a while. 

You, Terezi Pyrope, are searching for a ghost.

Not in the literal sense, obviously. But the troll you’ve been searching for has been gone for so long that she may as well be a ghost in your life. She’s become no more than a ghost in so many other people’s lives, already. You hope she’s alive and well. The possibility of her being not alive or well has crossed your mind a couple of times, but you would rather not dwell on that. You are going to keep assuming she’s alive and well, and consider that as the entirety of what there is to say on the matter.

During your searches in the Furthest Ring, you’ve tasted many wonders, such as the bright pulsating colors of the Furthest Ring cracking around you, and smelled many tragedies, such as the ghost of poor, sweet, precious Nepeta being sucked into a black hole. You got that last one on camera, so everyone could share in the mourning.

One thing you haven’t got on camera, or in your sylladex, or in any of your pockets, is food. Food isn’t exactly plentiful in a vast expanse, such as the one you find yourself in now. You guess technically you still have some food on you, but it won’t last you much longer. But you knew that sooner or later it would come to this. And on some level, you’re okay with it. It’s a risk you felt you had to take, and you’re willing to suffer the consequences of it, for her sake.

You don’t have a lot to do out here in the Furthest Ring. Most of your time is spent flying, and sniffing. You do a lot of sniffing. You would mind that more if that wasn’t the main way you took in your surroundings. Most of what you smell on a day to day basis is black licorice surrounding you, with hints of radiating, fruity, decadent deliciousness. For the most part though, you just smell licorice. All the time, all around you. You have come to hate licorice. 

While you were thinking about how much you hate licorice, it seems you’ve gotten a text on your palmhusk. 

> Terezi: Check palmhusk.

\-- ectoBiologist  [EB] began trolling gallowsCalibrator  [GC] \--   
EB: hey terezi.

It’s just John. Damnit, John. You got your hopes up and everything. It’s really your own fault for unrealistically hoping that it would be her. You don’t see the harm in hoping though, so you carry on. In fact, you have decided that you are never going to not hope that she will message you out of the blue. 

Oh right, John is still awaiting your response. Whatever, let him wait. You’re sure he knows by now that you’re going to respond slow. A few seconds to you is weeks for him! He has probably gotten used to it. And even if he hasn’t, you don’t really care. He’s not entitled to your time! What are you, his therapist? No, you’re not. Have you not mentioned the super important mission you’re on? You’re pretty sure John can wait. But what can’t wait... 

> Terezi: Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk.

What? Seriously? This is the dumbest thing you’ve thought of in weeks! You’re mentally cursing yourself for being so dumb as we speak. There’s not even a desk to shit on! And even if there were, Terezi, no doubt, would strongly resist the urge to do so. The hypothetical desk’s polished surface may beckon, but its beckons fall on deaf ears.

> Terezi: Continue searching.

Continue? You never stopped. It’s not like you have to halt everything just to think about a few things and check your palmhusk. You are still shooting around through the Furthest Ring like a cool, flaming dragon, and you are still smelling licorice all around you. Suddenly, you feel a buzz in your pocket. 

You are starting to despise the concept of John Egbert. 

> Terezi: Block John.

You are about to temporarily block John so as to allow yourself a moment’s peace. Or, as much peace as you can make in this hellhole that is the Furthest Ring. You smell blue, but it’s an off-colored hue that you’re not familiar tasting from John’s messages.

> Terezi: Lick palmhusk.

You begrudgingly take out your palmhusk once more, power it on, and start curiously licking the screen.

\-- arachnidsGrip  [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator  [GC] \--   
AG: Are you there?  
AG: Terezi?   
GC: VR1SK4?!  
GC: 1S TH4T YOU?

You take a moment to double check the text. Is it really her?

AG: Who else would it 8e?  
AG: Where are you?

It is. It’s really her. You snap yourself out of your momentary trance and respond as fast as you can.

GC: 1...   
GC: DONT KNOW??  
GC: WH3R3 4R3 YOU??   
AG: What the fuck do you mean you don’t know????????   
GC: VR1SK4  
GC: 1F YOU *H4D* TO GU3SS B4S3D OFF OF MY 4NSW3R   
GC: WH4T DO YOU TH1NK TH3 4NSW3R WOULD B3   
AG: I don’t fucking know!  
AG: I hardly even know where *I* am right now!   
GC: WH4T DO YOU M34N YOU  
GC: ...   
GC: N3V3RM1ND  
GC: 4R3 YOU ST1LL 4L1V3?   
AG: Yes.  
AG: O8viously.  
AG: I don’t die easily.   
GC: 4T L34ST W3 H4V3 TH4T?  
GC: 4T L34ST W3R3 BOTH 4L1V3  
GC: W3 M1GHT NOT B3 FOR MUCH LONG3R 1F W3 DONT F1ND SOM3 W4Y TO R3ND3ZVOUS 4ND G3T OUT OF H3R3  
GC: YOU M1GHT NOT H4V3 NOT1C3D BUT TH3R3S 4 PR3TTY B1G BL4CK HOL3 34T1NG UP 3V3RYTH1NG N34RBY    
AG: ...  
AG: Are you in the Furthest Ring?   
GC: OH Y34H  
GC: 1 4M  
GC: SORRY 1 PROB4BLY SHOULD H4V3 L3D W1TH TH4T   
AG: Why?!  
AG: Aren’t you supposed to 8e on Earth C?   
GC: TH4T D3P3NDS 3NT1R3LY ON YOUR P3RSON4L OP1N1ON OF WH4T 1 SHOULD B3 DO1NG  
GC: WH1CH 1 4M CHOOS1NG TO 1GNOR3 R3G4RDL3SS OF WH3TH3R YOU SUPPORT M3 B31NG OUT H3R3 OR NOT  
GC: SO 1 GU3SS TO 4NSW3R YOUR QU3ST1ON  
GC: NO  
GC: 1 H4D MOR3 1MPORT4NT M4TT3RS TO 4TT3ND TO   
AG: Like what?!  
AG: I thought you were supposed to have finished the game and 8een out of this shithole 8y now!  
AG: Cre8ed the new universe.  
AG: 8ecome the planet’s gods!  
AG: You know the drill.   
GC: Y3S  
GC: BUT NO  
GC: W3 D1D M4K3 TH3 N3W UN1V3RS3 4ND 4LL OF TH4T  
GC: BUT   
GC: 1 H4D SOM3 STUFF L3FT TO DO H3R3 TH4TS 4LL   
AG: I’m surprised you even managed to get 8ack!  
AG: Why the fuck would you go 8ACK?!   
GC: L1K3 1 S41D!   
GC: 1 H4V3 STUFF TO DO!  
GC: 4ND SP34K1NG OF  
GC: YOU SHOULD LOOK 4ROUND  
GC: TRY TO F1ND SOM3 L4NDM4RKS 1 C4N F1ND SO W3 C4N M33T UP   
AG: Um...?  
AG: Like that’s gonna fucking help!  
AG: We aren’t even in the same place Terezi!   
GC: W3LL Y34H, DUH  
GC: 1 KNOW TH4T  
GC: TH4TS WHY 1M 4SK1NG FOR L4NDM4RKS, DUMMY   
AG: W8 w8 w8.  
AG: Stop.  
AG: Terezi, I’m on Earth C.   
GC: YOUR3 WH4T??  
GC: WHY D1DNT YOU T3LL M3 SOON3R???   
AG: Well there was kind of a lot GOING ON?!  
AG: Now you know!  
AG: Surprise!!!!!!!!   
GC: TH1S 1S TH3 WORST K1ND OF SURPR1S3 >:[  
GC: HOW LONG H4V3 YOU B33N B4CK FOR??   
AG: Like.  
AG: An hour.  
AG: I ran around for a 8it trying to confirm where I was.  
AG: After asking several panicked locals I decided to contact you.  
AG: I only just got 8ack from the fight against Lord English.  
AG: I don’t even know if he’s dead!  
AG: 8ut he 8etter fucking 8e!   
GC: WH4T TH3 FUCK  
GC: 4R3 YOU S3R1OUS  
GC: YOU DONT 3V3N KNOW 1F H3S D34D 4ND YOU D1DNT 3V3N BOTH3R CH3CK1NG????  
GC: NOT TO SOUND L1K3 YOU BUT H3S K1ND OF 4 HUG3 D34L  
GC: S1NC3  
GC: YOU KNOW  
GC: H3S THR34T3N1NG TH3 3X1ST3NC3 OF OUR V3RY R34L1TY   
AG: Oh, I’m sorry.  
AG: I’ll just check my "TRACKING L8RD ENGL8SH MAP" and ASK FOR HIS COORDIN8S!!!!!!!!  
AG: You fucking think I don’t WANT to know how this shit ends?!  
AG: I can’t tell!  
AG: I didn’t get to SEE!  
AG: He got 8lasted into the 8lack hole and I was sucked through along with everyone else.  
AG: I 8lacked out and then I woke up on Earth C!  
AG: Trust me, I’m not deli8er8ly trying to 8e confused and useless!  
AG: I h8 this more than you do!  
AG: He could 8e out and a8out for all any of us know!   
GC: >:/  
GC: W3LL  
GC: 1 GU3SS W3 JUST H4V3 TO HOP3 H3S D34D  
GC: 4ND TH4T W3 N3V3R H34R FROM H1M 4G41N   
AG: I fucking hope so.  
AG: 8ut now you’re stuck in the remainder of the Furthest Ring and I’m here.  
AG: Which is unideal.  
AG: So how did you get in there?  
AG: How do we get you 8ack?   
GC: 1 GOT 1N BY JUST FLY1NG FOR 4 WH1L3  
GC: L1K3 W1TH MY J3TP4CK  
GC: 4S FOR G3TT1NG OUT...   
GC: 1 R34LLY DONT KNOW   
GC: 1V3 B33N WOND3R1NG 4BOUT TH4T MYS3LF ON 4ND OFF   
AG: You went in.  
AG: Without a plan of how to get out.  
AG: Terezi I thought you were smart.   
GC: W3LL 1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3 GO1NG TO K1LL LORD 3NGL1SH!  
GC: BUT WHO KNOWS 1F YOU 4CTU4LLY D1D  
GC: SO 1 GU3SS W3R3 3V3N  
GC: 4ND 4NYW4Y, 1T M1GHT B3 4S 34SY 4S JUST FLY1NG B4CK OUT!  
GC: 1 JUST H4V3NT T3ST3D 4NYTH1NG SO 1 C4NT S4Y FOR SUR3   
AG: How long have you 8een out there?  
AG: How long would it take to just "fly 8ack"?   
GC: 1V3 B33N OUT H3R3 FOR 4 COUPL3 OF MONTHS 1 TH1NK?  
GC: 1 WOULD 1M4G1N3 FLY1NG B4CK WOULD T4K3 4ROUND TH3 S4M3 4MOUNT OF T1M3   
AG: M8nths?!  
AG: Terezi do you have FOOD with you?!   
GC: 1...  
GC: D1D?   
AG: Holy fuck.  
AG: Okay, here’s what’s going to happen.  
AG: I’m going to find John.  
AG: He’s going to use his zappy powers to zap me into the Furthest Ring.  
AG: And from there I will 8ring you 8ack to Earth C.  
AG: 8y which I mean with a little help from John we will zap back to Earth C.  
AG: 8ecause I am not having you starve to death out here on your leisurely months-long flight 8ack to the land of the living!   
GC: F1N3  
GC: BUT YOU H4V3 TO COM3 W1TH H1M  
GC: YOU C4NT JUST S3ND H1M 4LON3  
GC: 1 H4V3 TO V3R1FY TH4T YOUR3 NOT JUST G3TT1NG M3 OUT OF YOUR R34LLY LONG, UNK3MPT H41R >:]   
AG: Okay first of all fuck you.  
AG: Second of all, NO!  
AG: Why the fuck would I 8e trying to get you out of my hair?!  
AG: You’re my moirail!   
GC: 1 DONT KNOW WH4T K1ND OF STUP1D SU1C1D3 M1SS1ONS YOU PL4N!  
GC: BUT 1 DO KNOW TH4T YOU KNOW TH4T 1 WOULD STOP 4NY OF THOS3 M1SS1ONS 1 KN3W OF  
GC: THUS, R34SON1NG FOR YOU TRY1NG TO G3T M3 OUT OF YOUR H41R  
GC: 4SSUM1NG YOU W3R3 SCH3M1NG  
GC: M4YB3 YOU H4V3 SOM3 1RONS 1N 4 F1R3 TH4T 1M UN4W4R3 OF!  
GC: 3NOUGH 4BOUT TH4T THOUGH  
GC: YOU SHOULD G3T JOHN   
AG: That’s what I’m DOING!  
AG: Ugh, so imp8tient!   
GC: 3XCUUUUUS3 M3!   
AG: Talk to you in a 8it.  
AG: Don’t die yet.   
GC: 1F YOU 1NS1ST  
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3  
GC: S33 YOU SOON   
AG: No you won’t.  
AG: :::;)   
GC: >:/   
\-- arachnidsGrip  [AG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator  [GC] \--

You stare at the screen for a little longer after she’s departed. Going back to Earth C after all this time away is a little hard for you to comprehend. It’s been so long, and you never really felt like you had a place there. If you’re being honest, you kind of didn’t think you would make it back. You had pushed the thought to the back of your mind, but deep down you always knew this was a one way trip, at least until now.

It’s been years since you left them. Years since they’ve seen from you or Vriska. Years since you seemingly disappeared with little to no contact. You’re a tiny bit worried people might be upset with you for worrying them like that, but more than anything you’re worried about what Vriska is going to think about you so recklessly endangering yourself like this.

You think that Vriska might think good of you for going to such lengths to achieve your goals. But you’re also worried that she might not approve of the goals you had in mind. Things are always so complic8ed with her. You mean complicated.

There’s another buzz from your palmhusk.

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] \--  
AG: Alright.  
AG: John is with me and we’re in the Furthest Ring.  
AG: He’s super excited to see you.  
AG: There might 8e a 8it of a reunion coming up.  
AG: Just so you know.  
GC: H3S NOT 3X4CTLY TH3 F1RST P3RSON 1 W4NT3D TO S33 WH3N 1 GOT B4CK BUT 1 GU3SS TH4TS F1N3  
GC: 1M NOT R34LLY LOOK1NG FORW4RD TO S331NG 4NYON3 B4CK ON 34RTH C, HON3STLY >:/  
AG: Really?  
AG: I mean I don’t 8lame you.  
AG: 8ut I thought you had friends 8ack there.  
GC: 1 DO!  
GC: 1M JUST 4LR34DY T1R3D FROM K4RK4TS 1N3V1T4BL3 T4NTRUM TH4T H3S GO1NG TO THROW WH3N 1 G3T B4CK   
GC: FOR NOT K33P1NG 1N TOUCH OR WH4T3V3R  
GC: WH1CH 1S K1ND OF MY B4D  
AG: Hahahahahahahaha.  
AG: I can imagine it right now. ::::)  
GC: M3 TOO   
GC: 4NYW4Y  
GC: HOW LONG DO YOU TH1NK 1TLL B3 UNT1L YOU G3T H3R3  
AG: I don’t know.   
AG: We’re still searching.  
AG: If we see you we’ll zap to you.  
AG: Do you have any sort of signal you could send out?  
AG: Make our jo8 a little easier?  
GC: YOU M34N L1K3 4 FL4R3?  
AG: I guess.  
AG: You don’t carry around flares though, do you?  
GC: 1 DO NOT  
GC: BUT  
GC: 1 DO H4V3 MY J3TP4CK  
GC: 1 COULD FLY 4ROUND 1N C1RCL3S  
AG: Good idea.  
AG: Get to it!  
AG: We’ll 8e on the lookout!

You fire up your jetpack and begin to fly around in tight circles, trying not to stray too far in one direction and risk making yourself more lost in the process. 

AG: I think I see you!  
AG: Can you hear me?

A faint whisper floats through the Furthest Ring. It’s the subtlest of sounds, but you pick it up. It sounds like your name. You slow your jetpack and turn to face where you think the sound is coming from. 

GC: 1 TH1NK SO??  
GC: SHOUT 4 L1TTL3 LOUD3R

You hear your name again, this time a little louder. She’s far away, and you can’t really smell anything even when you sniff your hardest. Paradox Space being a vast expanse of nothing doesn’t do your smellovision much good.

GC: OK 1 TH1NK SO?  
GC: 1 TH1NK 1 C4N H34R YOU   
AG: Yeah.  
AG: I see you.  
AG: I’m coming.   
\-- arachnidsGrip  [AG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator  [GC] \--

There’s a sudden bright flash accompanied by a loud ZAP, and when the scent of pure white bleach fades you can sense two people in front of you. There’s John. And there’s Vriska.

TEREZI: OH

Vriska exhales in relief.

VRISKA: It’s 8een a while, hasn’t it, Pyrope?   



	2. The Return

  
You don’t know what to say. Everything’s a bit surreal now, and you’re painfully aware of how hungry and weak you are. You float over, closer to the two of them. John is smiling so wide it threatens to split his face open. Vriska looks simultaneously relieved and worried. You feel a powerful ache in your chest. You really, really missed her.

JOHN: terezi!  
JOHN: it’s so good to see you!   
TEREZI: YOU SM3LL...   
TEREZI: OLD3R   
JOHN: i am older!   
JOHN: it’s been years since you left, remember?   
VRISKA: Everyone’s SO old it’s crazy.  
VRISKA: Like a few sweeps older than us now.  
VRISKA: It’s kind of fucked up.

There’s a tremor in Vriska’s voice that you can pick up quite distinctly, even though you have a feeling she’s trying to hide it.

JOHN: it doesn’t really matter!  
JOHN: what’s important is you two can come back now!  
JOHN: everyone’s missed you a lot, terezi.  
JOHN: you too vriska.

Vriska scoffs, looking doubtful, but doesn’t comment. You take another sniff, really getting a sense of them. You still can’t entirely believe they’re really here. It’s been so long since you’ve seen any of your friends, but doubtlessly even longer since the ones back on Earth C have seen you. Vriska seems to be around the same age as she was when she left to fight Lord English. You yourself are only perhaps half a sweep older than she is. John, on the other hand, is already past his teenage years.

TEREZI: HOW LONG W4S 1 GON3 FOR?   
JOHN: oh man.  
JOHN: it must’ve been at least 4 years.   
VRISKA: It’s 8een THAT long?!   
TEREZI: WOW

Everyone goes silent for a little while. Vriska breaks it first.

VRISKA: Well.  
VRISKA: Not that this convers8tion isn’t super interesting.  
VRISKA: 8ut may8e we could continue having it on a planet instead of in the middle of nowhere?   
JOHN: hehe, yeah.  
JOHN: come on guys, let’s go home.

He reaches out one hand for you, and you take it without much hesitation. You are so, so tired. John then takes Vriska by his other hand and you feel a buzzing sensation crawl over your limbs for a split second, before everything goes white. 

When the light fades, the world around you is vibrant and full of color. The disgusting licorice aroma you’d become so used to is flushed completely from your consciousness. You take in lungfuls of fresh air, feeling a brief bout of euphoria as limey greens, cotton candy blues, warm oranges, and rich chocolaty browns fill your nose. The world of Earth C is alive and welcoming, just as you remembered it all those months ago. You hadn’t actively missed it, but after spending so long in a dark abyss you can’t help but be grateful for something different.

Gravity pulls on your body harder than you expected. It’s been a while since you’ve used your legs, you realize, as you collapse to your knees. You feel Vriska’s hands on your shoulders, light and almost devoid of pressure. Beside her, John’s face contorts into worry.

JOHN: are you okay?   
TEREZI: Y34H  
TEREZI: 1TS JUST B33N 4 WH1L3 W1THOUT GR4V1TY  
TEREZI: 1LL 4DJUST

You settle down cross-legged on the grass and allow yourself to take in your surroundings more clearly. The three of you are in an open field, with trees and peaceful suburbs in the distance. On the horizon sit skyscrapers and bright silver buildings, collecting in a staggering mass of concrete and metal. The city is that way; part of the human kingdom, if you remember correctly. Slowly, the part of your brain that knew the locations of Earth C begins to crawl to the surface after months of disuse.

TEREZI: 4R3 W3 N34R YOUR H1V3   
JOHN: yeah. it was the first place i thought of.  
JOHN: i hope that’s alright.   
TEREZI: 4S LONG 4S 1 C4N 34T 4ND SL33P, 1TS F1N3

Vriska turns to John with a suspicious squint.

VRISKA: How far is it to your hive?   
JOHN: not too far, why?   
VRISKA: 8ecause Terezi might not have the strength to walk all the way there, o8viously!   
JOHN: oh.   
TEREZI: VR1SK4 1TS F1N3  
TEREZI: 1 C4N W4LK  
TEREZI: 1 C4N 34S1LY SURV1V3 4 L1TTL3 TR3K 4FT3R P3R1G33S 1N SP4C3   
VRISKA: May8e so.  
VRISKA: 8ut there’s no point in taking any chances!

You force yourself to stand, wobbly and unsteady, determined to  
prove that you are, in fact, _just fine._ Vriska reaches for you again, but you sidestep out of range. Straightening up, you roll your shoulders back and steady your stance.

TEREZI: S33?  
TEREZI: 1M F1N3  
TEREZI: 1M JUST T1R3D   
JOHN: don’t worry!  
JOHN: i have plenty of food at my house.  
JOHN: and if you’re alright with sleeping on a couch you can get lots of rest!   
TEREZI: TH4NK YOU  
TEREZI: 1 4PPR3C14T3 1T

John smiles softly, looking at you like he’s conversing with a ghost. There’s a lot of emotion in his expression, an almost unsettling amount. You don’t know what to do with this information. John has always been a little difficult for you. He’s so genuine, all the time. You’re not. You keep yourself closed down. So does Vriska, but you’ve known her long enough that you can read her more easily than most. But with John, it’s like a barrage of feelings spiraling towards you every second you’re with him. When he’s extra emotional like this, it’s practically draining. You don’t understand why he cares so much about you being back. He shouldn’t. It’s not that important, right? Thinking about this makes your head hurt, and you stop before you can dwell on it.

JOHN: follow me!  
JOHN: my house is only a few blocks away.  
JOHN: you can stay there too, vriska.   
VRISKA: Yeah, sure.  
VRISKA: I don’t really have anywhere else to go.

John begins to head off into town, and you follow close behind. You can feel Vriska close beside you, almost brushing up against you. Her stance is stiff and focused, and she appears uneasy. You remember that this is her first time on Earth C.

TEREZI: 1TS  
TEREZI: SURPR1S1NGLY QU13T H3R3  
TEREZI: R3M1NDS M3 OF MY FOR3ST  
TEREZI: HOW DO YOU F33L 4BOUT 1T?   
VRISKA: What.  
VRISKA: Oh.  
VRISKA: Fine I guess.  
VRISKA: I mean, it’s peaceful, sure.  
VRISKA: I remem8er John’s old neigh8orhood looking a lot like this.  
VRISKA: May8e that’s why he lives here.   
TEREZI: 1T F33LS 4 L1TTL3 *TOO* QU13T TO M3  
TEREZI: 1 WOND3R 1F TH3 TROLL K1NGDOM 1S D1FF3R3NT   
VRISKA: Pro8a8ly.

Vriska shrugs her shoulders and looks off into the distance, shifting her posture so she looks more nonchalant. John can most definitely hear your conversation, but he’s polite enough to let you two talk in private, for the most part.

You figure that Vriska is a little thrown off by the look of Earth C. It’s nothing like Alternia. You’re standing out in the open sun, for starters. You could sense the worry in Vriska’s eyes when John teleported both of you straight into the open sun, a vulnerable position for most trolls on Alternia. Since then that expression has melted into a more uneasy look, rather than full on worry. Anyone else would be oblivious to how she’s feeling as a whole. They might think that she’s cool, calm, and collected on the surface of this new planet. You know better.

TEREZI: (vr1sk4)  
TEREZI: (h3y)   
TEREZI: (you sur3 your3 4ll good)

She looks a little startled by your question.

VRISKA: (Yeah?)  
VRISKA: (Why wouldn’t I 8e?)   
TEREZI: (you just s33m un34sy)  
TEREZI: (but 1f you s4y your3 good th3n 1 wont push)

You’re grateful that John is such a polite nerd of a boy. Someone like Dave or Karkat wouldn’t hesitate to butt in on your personal conversation. He’s doing a good job of looking entranced by the scenery.

VRISKA: (I mean, it is a liiiiiiiittle weird?)  
VRISKA: (New planet and all.)  
VRISKA: (8ut I’m used to seeing new stuff. This is tame compared to the dream8u88les after all.)  
VRISKA: (I think it’s just 8ecause I’m going to 8e living here now for the rest of my life.)  
VRISKA: (It hit me a little harder than I expected.)   
TEREZI: (1 thought you would b3 mor3 3xc1t3d 4bout 1t)  
TEREZI: (th1s 1s th3 b1g f1n4l3)  
TEREZI: (4ll of our work f1n4lly p4y1ng off)   
VRISKA: (That’s true.)  
VRISKA: (I guess I’ll look at it that way.)   
TEREZI: (good) >:]

You’re beginning to wonder how far away this place is. As if on cue, John waves his hand out at a hive on the block. 

JOHN: there it is!   
VRISKA: Cool.  
VRISKA: Looks sort of like your old hive.   
JOHN: hehe, yeah.  
JOHN: the locals were really nice!  
JOHN: they wanted to make me feel at home, and they did a good job.  
JOHN: makes me miss old earth less, y’know?

You take a generous sniff of the surroundings. It smells similar to John’s old neighborhood, from what you tasted on the screens on the meteor all those sweeps ago. The hive that he stops at is a modest attempt at reconstructing his original one. The outside isn’t a perfect copy by any means, but it gets the message across well enough to feel familiar. You wonder if John gets a sense of the uncanny when looking at it. You think you would, if you had lived in John’s old hive. It just feels off.

John opens the door and lets you and Vriska inside. You don’t remember the inside of John’s hive enough to be sure how accurate this portion is to the original. You saw John’s room the most, after all. The living room is spacious and there’s a fireplace against the wall. A small mealblock is separated from the main room on one side, and a set of stairs leads up towards what you guess is John’s respiteblock, and perhaps the ablutionblock as well.

> Terezi: Find a place to flop.

Without much concern for your manners, your attention falls on the couch in the living room and you make your way over to it as if pulled by magnetism, flopping down onto the soft surface face first and letting out a sigh of relief. Nobody stops you, so you stay laying there, your whole body aching.

JOHN: haha, welcome home.

You can only muster a groan in response, not budging an inch.

VRISKA: Do you have any food?  
VRISKA: We need that.  
VRISKA: 8adly.   
JOHN: oh!   
JOHN: right, yeah, i’ll get on that.  
JOHN: be right back!

You lift your head just enough to smell him scampering towards the mealblock, which he nearly enters before pausing and turning back.

JOHN: i nearly forgot!  
JOHN: do you guys care if the food isn’t entirely trollish?  
JOHN: i mean, you guys ate human food on the meteor journey   
right?  
JOHN: you’ll be okay?   
VRISKA: We’ll survive.   
TEREZI: 1M R34LLY NOT P1CKY  
TEREZI: TRUST M3

He nods and leaves the living room. You can hear the sound of plates being jumbled and the hungertrunk being opened. Vriska stands awkwardly next to the couch, and you pull your legs closer to your chest to provide space for her to sit.

TEREZI: YOU C4N S1T DOWN YOU KNOW   
VRISKA: Oh.  
VRISKA: Thanks.

Vriska plops down on the couch next to you, just as John comes in carrying two plates of spaghetti. You remember watching Rose alchemize that back on the meteor a couple of times. You never tried it, though. You’re pretty sure Vriska has never eaten it either.

John sets the plates down on the table by the couch and you slowly lift yourself up to get a good sniff. Vriska leans over her plate, inspecting it.

JOHN: let me get you some forks.  
JOHN: one second!

John goes back into the mealblock, but you don’t spare another moment waiting for a fork. You plunge your face into the spaghetti and begin eating it, using your hands to shovel palmfuls into your mouth. You can hear Vriska’s laugh of surprise beside you, but you can’t smell her when your nose is covered in delicious red sauce and buried deep into noodles. John’s voice emanates from in front of you afterwards.

JOHN: oh my god.  
JOHN: terezi i was getting you a fork!   
TEREZI: 1 WSH MNGRY!   
VRISKA: It’s 8etter that she eats anyways.

She shrugs, takes one of the forks, and begins to eat as well, but with much more restraint. John sits down in one of the lounge chairs as you viciously tear into your spaghetti. By the time you’re finished, your hands and face are covered in tomato sauce and your plate has been licked clean. 

TEREZI: TH4T W4S GR34T  
TEREZI: DO YOU H4V3 4NY MORE?   
JOHN: uh.  
JOHN: maybe?   
JOHN: i can check.

As he moves back to the mealblock, you lean forward on your elbows and sigh, starting to feel less hollowed out and empty already. Everything’s a little blurry and tinted red from the sauce around your nostrils, but you can still make out Vriska looking at you.

VRISKA: I haven’t seen you eat like that in sweeps.   
TEREZI: WH3N W4S TH3 L4ST T1M3 YOUV3 3V3R S33N M3 34T L1K3 TH4T?   
VRISKA: May8e during one of our flarp campaigns.   
VRISKA: I remem8er a few times we would go days without eating and you’d get soooooooo hungry.  
VRISKA: Then when we finally got food you’d snarf it down like an animal!  
VRISKA: It was kind of adora8le.   
TEREZI: H3H3H3H3H3H3

John returns with another plate of spaghetti. Before he gets the chance to put it down, you grab it from him and swallow mouthfuls of noodles. John jumps out of the way of your gnashing teeth and raises up his hands, looking a little shocked.

JOHN: jeez!  
JOHN: you nearly bit my fingers off!   
TEREZI: OOPS >;]

When you finish that plate, you think you’re finally full enough to rest. You stare down at your hands, a little indecisive.

TEREZI: UH  
TEREZI: DO YOU H4V3 4 PL4C3 1 C4N W4SH OFF?   
JOHN: oh, yeah.  
JOHN: there’s a sink in the kitchen.   
TEREZI: TH4TS WH4T HUM4NS C4LL TH3 M34LBLOCK R1GHT?   
JOHN: yeah.

You get up and head into the meal — you mean _kitchen_, and find the sink. You reach for the tap and rinse off your hands, then splash copious amounts of water onto your face. Instead of using the towel nearby, you decide to just shake off your head and hands, sending water droplets flying everywhere like a drenched barkbeast.

When you return to the living room, your nose is free of sauce and you can see clearly once again. Vriska is still eating, but seems to be more ravenous than usual. That’s good, you think. It means she’s actually eating the amount she needs instead of pretending to be fine for the sake of some bullshit concept of strength.

John is taking your plate back to the kitchen, and you pass him on the way out. 

TEREZI: TH4NKS FOR TH3 FOOD   
JOHN: of course!  
JOHN: do you guys have a place to stay for the night?   
TEREZI: UH

You and Vriska exchange a look.

VRISKA: Well I just got here.  
VRISKA: I don’t have a hive.  
VRISKA: 8ut if Terezi has one I could—   
TEREZI: 1 DONT

Vriska stares at you for a moment, incredulous.

VRISKA: W8 what.  
VRISKA: You said you were searching for me for months.  
VRISKA: You must’ve spent the rest of the time on Earth C right?  
VRISKA: You’re like what?  
VRISKA: 8 and a half sweeps?   
TEREZI: Y34H SO?   
VRISKA: _So._  
VRISKA: You’d have a hive here!  
VRISKA: Right?  
VRISKA: Terezi don’t tell me you just lived in the woods for half a sweep.   
TEREZI: W3LL...    
JOHN: i’m pretty sure that’s exactly what she did actually.   
VRISKA: _What??_   
TEREZI: 1 *D1D* GROW UP 1N TH3 FOR3ST  
TEREZI: 1T W4SNT TH4T D1FF3R3NT  
TEREZI: YOUR3 M4K1NG 4 B1GG3R D34L OUT OF TH1S TH4N YOU N33D TO B3   
VRISKA: Well then where are we supposed to go?  
VRISKA: We’re effectively homeless!  
VRISKA: I don’t exactly want to 8e crashing at other people’s places for the rest of my time on Earth C.  
VRISKA: Which currently is an eternity!  
VRISKA: Unless any of you happen to know someone who’s passing around heroic deaths????????   
TEREZI: C4LM DOWN  
TEREZI: W3 C4N F1ND 4 H1V3 OR SOM3TH1NG L4T3R  
TEREZI: 1 JUST W4NT TO SL33P R1GHT NOW  
TEREZI: 1M 3XH4UST3D   
JOHN: you’re welcome to stay here for as long as you want.   
VRISKA: Where do we sleep?  
VRISKA: Do you have guests over usually?   
JOHN: no...    
TEREZI: VR1SK4 1LL JUST SL33P ON TH3 COUCH   
VRISKA: Then where do I sleep?   
TEREZI: UM  
TEREZI: 4LSO ON TH3 COUCH??

Vriska inspects the couch with a judgmental glare. John looks between you and Vriska as he waits for your decision.

VRISKA: Fine.  
VRISKA: I’ll sleep on the couch too.   
TEREZI: >:]   
JOHN: okay!

Then everyone goes silent. You sit down on the couch awkwardly.

JOHN: um.  
JOHN: do you want to sleep now?   
TEREZI: Y34H PROB4BLY

John nods and hesitates a moment, as if unsure whether to leave or not. Vriska merely turns to look at him, completely neutral in expression, but it seems to get the message across. He goes upstairs.

JOHN: sleep well!  
JOHN: see you tomorrow.   
VRISKA: L8r.

You let out a heavy breath and run your hand through your hair. Over the course of the time you’ve been on Earth C, you can feel muscles you hadn’t known were tense slowly relaxing. Little by little, the tension is ebbing from your body. You hadn’t realized how much you were constantly on edge in Paradox Space.

Vriska slowly turns her head to watch you, her expression conflicted. You give her a questioning look.

TEREZI: H1   
VRISKA: Hey.

Vriska shifts a little closer, rubbing at the back of her neck.

VRISKA: Um.  
VRISKA: Don’t go around telling people 8ut...  
VRISKA: I missed you a little.

A gentle warmth blossoms in your chest and you smile softly. Vriska smiles back, a little sheepish, and the ache in your chest becomes unbearable. You move forward to hug her. She returns your embrace almost immediately.

TEREZI: 1LL K33P 1T B3TW33N US >:]   
VRISKA: Thanks.   
TEREZI: 4ND FOR TH3 R3CORD  
TEREZI: 1 M1SS3D YOU TOO

Vriska giggles into your shoulder and you feel dizzy for a few seconds. You hug her a little tighter, letting it sink in that she’s really, truly _there_. She’s back. And you’re back. Maybe now you’ve finally come home.  



	3. Hive Hunt

  
You wake up to a lot of black hair tangled in your face. At first you’re dreary and confused. Everything smells like Vriska, and it has a calming effect on your psyche. You lean back from the wild mess of hair and take a few sniffs to get a sense of your surroundings.

You’re lying on the couch, pressed flush up against Vriska’s sleeping body. Right, you remember now. You fell asleep cuddled up together. There’s still a fuzzy, warm feeling circulating in your veins, and you’re pretty sure you fell asleep like that. You can’t stop staring at her. She sleeps very peacefully, more peacefully than you’ve ever seen her while she’s awake. It occurs to you that you rarely witness her like this, completely calm, face slack and relaxed. Normally there’s some sort of tension in her shoulders, a stiffness in her spine as she carries herself with poise and purpose. You’re pretty sure her brain is always running at eight hundred miles per hour when she’s awake.

A spike of affection hits you in the chest. It surprises you, and you slowly settle back down next to her. You’re pretty sure what you’re feeling is overwhelmingly pale, so you allow yourself to indulge in it. Extending a hand, you very slowly rest your palm on her cheek. Her body is warmer than usual, in the midst of her slumber. Her eyebrows pinch together slightly and she shuffles a little closer to you. You notice your pulse quicken and you frown a little at your own emotional reactions. Something pricks at the back of your mind, unbidden thoughts floating closer to the surface, close enough you can almost hear them.

You remove your hand from Vriska’s cheek and sit up, taking in a deep breath of air and reorienting your attention onto John’s hive. The intrusive thoughts settle back into the depths of your subconscious. You relax again.

It’s early morning, and John’s scent isn’t anywhere present downstairs. At least, not a fresh scent. Everything in the hive does smell of John Egbert, and you smile a little. He’s a good kid, and despite yourself you find his unwavering hospitality a little heartwarming. You suppose, technically, that he’s no longer a kid. In fact, _you_ are the one who is still a kid, and _he’s_ all grown up. But you always thought of John as a kid, and he doesn’t act any differently now that he’s got a few more sweeps on him, so you decide to keep thinking of him as that nerdy boy.

Vriska stirs behind you and you incline your head towards her as she slowly opens her eyes.

VRISKA: Urgh.  
VRISKA: What time is it?   
TEREZI: 1M NOT SUR3   
TEREZI: BUT 1TS ST1LL PR3TTY 34RLY

Vriska stays relaxed for a few more moments, blinking drearily up at the ceiling, before immediately sitting bolt upright and looking wildly around the room.

VRISKA: Where’s John????????   
TEREZI: R3L4X YOU DW33B  
TEREZI: H3S NOT UP Y3T   
VRISKA: Oh.  
VRISKA: Okay, cool.

She lies back down. Her expression has completely lost the tranquility it had in the middle of sleep. She’s angular and electric again. Alive and constantly moving. Even when she’s still there’s always a chaotic energy about her. You miss the peaceful Vriska a little, if only because it’s so rare.

TEREZI: WHY??  
TEREZI: W3R3 YOU WORR13D JOHN WOULD S33 YOU 4LL SL33PY 4ND CUDDLY >;]

Vriska makes a few useless, flailing hand gestures as she searches for words, before scoffing out a response.

VRISKA: No.  
VRISKA: Of course not.  
VRISKA: I don’t care.  
VRISKA: It’s just John anyway, who cares what he sees?   
TEREZI: OF COURS3  
TEREZI: MY B4D  
TEREZI: 1 COMPL3T3LY M1SJUDG3D YOUR P4NICK3D R34CT1ON   
VRISKA: It wasn’t _panicked._  
VRISKA: I was just ALERT.   
TEREZI: H3H3H3H

You stand up and stretch, the room temperature air feeling cold against the parts of your body that were tucked up against Vriska moments ago. It’s been only a moment and you already miss it. And speaking of Vriska, you’re pretty sure you can feel her eyes trained on you.

TEREZI: D1D YOU SL33P W3LL?   
VRISKA: Yeah.  
VRISKA: Did you?   
TEREZI: Y3S  
TEREZI: YOUR3 V3RY COMFORT4BL3

She blushes a little and combs her fingers through her hair, straightens her jacket.

VRISKA: I can 8e when I want to.

You shoot her a toothy grin and she smirks back after a beat, and then you walk off into the kitchen to go raid John’s hungertrunk. You sniff around for a few moments before pulling out whatever smells good and begin rummaging through it, putting bits and pieces into your mouth without even getting a plate or warming anything up. There’s some sort of cooked cluckbeast carcass left over in a container, and you pry it open before going at it with your teeth. 

VRISKA: Wow.  
VRISKA: What are you, a starving choler8ear?  
VRISKA: Your savagery levels are off the charts!  
VRISKA: Who knew hungry Pyrope could 8e so vicious!

You tear off a chunk of cluckbeast meat and chew, grinning wide at her with all your teeth on display.

TEREZI: 1M 4LW4YS V1C1OUS   
VRISKA: I’ve seen otherwise.   
TEREZI: YOU H4V3 NO 3V1D3NC3 4T YOUR D1SPOS4L 4ND THUS TH3 JURY W1LL NOT B3 SW4Y3D   
VRISKA: I don’t need to sway anyone, I’m just right!   
TEREZI: 4G41N, TH3S3 4R3 B4S3L3SS 4CCUS4T1ONS

Vriska stands up and makes her way over to you. You’re hunched over the countertop and completely decimating this cluckbeast. Vriska laughs and pokes you in the side. You nearly let out an indignant squawk, but catch yourself and instead just frown at her. She grins mischievously at you, then rips off a piece of meat from the carcass in her fingers and eats it.

VRISKA: Huh.   
VRISKA: Not 8ad.  
VRISKA: Tastes a lot like Alternian cluck8east.   
TEREZI: Y34H  
TEREZI: 1M GL4D JOHN H4D SOM3 M34T LY1NG 4ROUND  
TEREZI: 1 COULD US3 TH3 PROT31N

You go back to shredding cluckbeast with your teeth and eating it in a notably feral fashion. As you do, you become aware of the fact that Vriska really doesn’t seem to mind. You always knew this, she’s always been tolerant or even supportive of your weird quirks. It’s just that when you spend time with her, you really _feel_ it. You think you like it, having someone who just gets you. Ever since you became her moirail you had a lot of moments where there wasn’t much that needed to be said to understand one another. It was a bit like old times, during FLARP. The meteor journey was nice, in this way. Your relationship had become stable again, like it hadn’t been during the game.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of footsteps on the staircase. Looking up, you smell John coming down the stairs. He disappears behind the kitchen wall for a moment as he reaches the bottom of the steps, then reappears when he heads towards the kitchen. When he sees Vriska, he gives a sleepy wave, and she waves back. Then, he notices you with your mouth full of cluckbeast flesh and stares.

TEREZI: OH  
TEREZI: W3R3 YOU GO1NG TO 34T TH1S??   
JOHN: uh... no?  
JOHN: i mean i might have.  
JOHN: but it’s fine, you can finish it.   
TEREZI: TH4NKS

You go back to feasting.

JOHN: was the couch okay?   
VRISKA: Yeah, it worked fine.  
VRISKA: 8ut we’re pro8a8ly not going to stay another night.   
JOHN: that’s okay.  
JOHN: do you have a place to go already?   
VRISKA: No, 8ut we will.  
VRISKA: I mean, we’re gods, right?  
VRISKA: We should 8e a8le to get a hive just fine.   
JOHN: i guess so.  
JOHN: i mean...   
JOHN: i don’t have to pay rent for this place or anything.   
VRISKA: Exactly.  
VRISKA: We’ll find some hive in the Troll Kingdom.

You finish eating your fill of the cluckbeast carcass and keep one of the leg bones you’d stripped with you as you push the remains away. It’s mostly just bones and tendons now, anyways. You doubt anyone else will finish it off.

TEREZI: DO YOU H4V3 4 PL4C3 FOR C4RC4SS3S?   
JOHN: carcasses??   
TEREZI: TH3 CLUCKB34ST R3M41NS   
JOHN: oh!  
JOHN: i guess the trash.   
TEREZI: WH3R3 1S TH4T   
JOHN: over there.

He points you to a trashcan and you take the container of cluckbeast remains to the bin.

VRISKA: Holy shit.  
VRISKA: Eg8ert you didn’t tell me you’d 8low up my palmhusk.   
JOHN: your what?   
VRISKA: This!

Vriska waves her palmhusk in John’s face. A handful of messages are visible on the screen, although unreadable at the moment due to the palmhusk being waved around.

JOHN: oh you mean your phone?   
VRISKA: Yeah, whatever.  
VRISKA: Why do I have so many fucking messages?   
JOHN: well i didn’t send them!   
VRISKA: I know _you_ didn’t!  
VRISKA: Did you tell everyone we were 8ack already?!  
VRISKA: They’re not going to leave us alone!   
TEREZI: T3CHN1C4LLY  
TEREZI: TH3YR3 NOT GO1NG TO L34V3 *M3* 4LON3  
TEREZI: YOULL JUST B3 COLL4T3R4L D4M4G3   
VRISKA: What??  
VRISKA: Why?!  
VRISKA: What makes you so special????????   
TEREZI: 4ND H3R3 1 THOUGHT YOU D1DNT W4NT TO B3 BOTH3R3D!  
TEREZI: VR1SK4  
TEREZI: DO YOU M34N TO T3LL M3 YOU *W4NT* TH3M TO C4R3 TH4T YOUR3 B4CK??

Vriska grinds her teeth and stuffs her palmhusk in her pocket. You flash a grin her way.

VRISKA: I don’t care!  
VRISKA: I just don’t want them IGNORING me!  
VRISKA: I have things to do!   
TEREZI: L1K3 WH4T   
VRISKA: Like!  
VRISKA: Irons!  
VRISKA: I have irons in the fire!   
TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT YOUR L4ST 1RONS BURN3D OUT WH3N TH3 B4TTL3 3ND3D   
VRISKA: There’s ALWAYS more that needs to 8e done, Terezi.  
VRISKA: A hero’s work never truly ends.   
JOHN: that kind of sucks.  
JOHN: can’t we all just rest?   
VRISKA: John, please.  
VRISKA: I’m not saying _you_ can’t rest.  
VRISKA: The world doesn’t NEED you to 8e active.   
JOHN: :/   
VRISKA: At least everyone else has 8een spreading the word.  
VRISKA: It’ll pro8a8ly 8e easier to get a hive.  
VRISKA: Come on Terezi.

You’re busy chewing on your cluckbeast bone and take a moment to stare at Vriska blankly.

TEREZI: W3R3 L34V1NG R1GHT NOW >:?   
VRISKA: Why not?  
VRISKA: Might as well get a move on!   
TEREZI: S111GH

You turn to John and point the bone at him. 

TEREZI: TH4NKS FOR L3TT1NG US CR4SH FOR TH3 N1GHT   
JOHN: yeah, it was no problem.  
JOHN: i’m just glad you’re both safe now.   
VRISKA: Yeah, yeah, good to 8e 8ack and all that.  
VRISKA: Now can we cut the sap and get to it?

Vriska is bouncing on the balls of her feet. You can sense the irritation starting to spark in her eyes. You slide the bone halfway back into your mouth and head out of the kitchen. John and Vriska follow behind you as you make for the door. 

TEREZI: S33 YOU L4T3R JOHN   
JOHN: yeah, see you around.  
JOHN: or, i guess i will, heheh.   
TEREZI: OH 4R3 YOU M4K1NG TH3 BL1ND JOK3S NOW TOO   
JOHN: shit sorry.  
JOHN: i guess that’s a bit mean spirited.   
TEREZI: H3H3H3  
TEREZI: YOUR3 SUCH 4 DORK

You open the door and head out, Vriska quickly passing you and taking the lead herself. You can smell John watching you both as you leave. He doesn’t conceal his expression well. He’s painfully lonely. You feel a pang of pity for him, but you know you can’t really do anything about his situation. You turn your full attention to Vriska and follow her down the street on your way to the Troll Kingdom.

TEREZI: DO YOU 3V3N KNOW WH3R3 YOUR3 GO1NG   
VRISKA: I thought may8e you’d tell me when we have to make a turn or something.   
TEREZI: TH3 TROLL K1NGDOM 1SNT 3X4CTLY 4 F3W BLOCKS 4W4Y   
VRISKA: Yeah! Well!  
VRISKA: How do we get there, then?   
TEREZI: 1F 1 R3M3MB3R R1GHT, W3 SHOULD B3 4BL3 TO T4K3 4 TR41N   
VRISKA: Seems tedious.   
TEREZI: W3LL W3 DONT H4V3 4 C4R W1TH US DO W3   
VRISKA: We should’ve taken John’s car.   
TEREZI: D1D YOU S33 H1S C4R   
VRISKA: Well, no.   
TEREZI: TH3N HOW DO YOU KNOW H3 H4S ON3   
VRISKA: Okay, I guess I don’t 8ut I’m ASSUMING he does!   
TEREZI: VR1SK4, JOHN L1T3R4LLY N3V3R L34V3S H1S H1V3  
TEREZI: 1 WOULDNT B3 SURPR1S3D 1F Y3ST3RD4Y W4S TH3 F1RST T1M3 H3S L3FT 1N W33KS   
VRISKA: You just got 8ack.  
VRISKA: May8e he leaves his house now.   
TEREZI: M4YB3  
TEREZI: BUT 1 DOUBT 1T  
TEREZI: 1 WOULD B3 MOR3 SURPR1S3D 1F H3D CH4NG3D OV3R TH3 T1M3 1 W4S GON3 TH4N 1F H3 H4DNT   
VRISKA: Sigh.  
VRISKA: I guess we’re taking a train then.   
TEREZI: 1F YOU H4T3 TH3 1D34 SO MUCH WHY DONT YOU DOWNLO4D 4N 34RTH C M4P ON YOUR P4LMHUSK 4ND JUST FLY TH3R3   
VRISKA: I guess I could.   
VRISKA: 8ut then I’d 8e sitting around w8ing for you for aaaaaaaages.   
TEREZI: 4WW HOW SW33T  
TEREZI: YOUD W41T FOR M3   
VRISKA: Shut up.  
VRISKA: I just mean I’d have to w8 8ecause they pro8a8ly want to see us 8oth to know who’s getting the hive or whatever.   
TEREZI: WH4T 1F W3R3 G3TT1NG S3P4R4T3 H1V3S

Vriska gives you a look. You think it’s one of the few times you’ve seen her look insecure. It’s a little adorable, actually. 

VRISKA: Are we not getting a hive together?   
TEREZI: YOU G33K  
TEREZI: OF COURS3 W3 4R3

She relaxes slowly. You guess she’s trying to make it imperceptible, but it’s useless when it comes to you. 

TEREZI: 1 JUST M34N TH4T FOR 4LL TH3 H1V3 S3LL3RS KNOW W3R3 G3TT1NG S3P4R4T3 H1V3S  
TEREZI: WH4T DO3S 1T M4TT3R TO TH3M 1F YOU G3T ON3 4ND TH3N L3T M3 COM3 1N 4FT3R  
TEREZI: 1 R34LLY DONT TH1NK TH3Y C4R3 WHO GO3S 1N 4ND OUT OF 4 H1V3 ONC3 1TS B33N BOUGHT   
VRISKA: Right, sure.  
VRISKA: 8ut for the sake of simplicity I’ll just go on the train, I guess.

You let her have that, and don’t keep pushing for the sake of teasing her. It’s really, really tempting to, though. 

You pull out your palmhusk and open your map, removing the bone from your mouth and holding it in one hand. After giving the palmhusk a few probing licks, you redirect the both of you towards the nearest station. Only when you’re a block away does it occur to you that neither of you have any sort of ticket or money for the train. You didn’t take anything with you that you didn’t need on your trip to the Furthest Ring, and Vriska obviously wouldn’t have anything for Earth C. You’re about to mention this to her when the both of you reach the station, but she seems to have other plans entirely. Before you can even open your mouth, she heads off towards one of the workers and strikes an imposing stance.

VRISKA: Hey, you.

The worker points to herself, a little shaken. It’s a human. You wonder how often she’s seen trolls in this part of Earth C.

VRISKA: Yeah, you.  
VRISKA: I’m Vriska Serket and that’s Terezi Pyrope.  
VRISKA: You heard of us?  
WORKER: Uh... Yes?  
VRISKA: Good.  
VRISKA: See, we just got 8ack to Earth C and we’re kind of a 8ig deal.  
VRISKA: So can you let us get on a train so we can get to the Troll Kingdom?  
VRISKA: We’re sort of on a tight schedule.  
WORKER: Um... Do... Do you have a ticket?

Vriska somehow makes herself appear even taller as she hovers over the worker. 

VRISKA: Lady, I don’t know if you know this, 8ut we’re LITERALLY your GODS.  
VRISKA: Do you really want to 8e the person who asks her LITERAL GODS for a TRAIN TICKET to 8oard the TRAIN that all the average Earth C people use????????

You cut in front of Vriska, take her by the arm, and start pulling her away. The woman notices the cluckbeast bone in your free hand and her eyes only widen further. Oops.

TEREZI: SORRY 4BOUT TH4T  
TEREZI: W3LL COM3 B4CK WH3N W3 H4V3 4 T1CK3T   
VRISKA: (Terezi!)  
VRISKA: (What are you DOING?!)  
VRISKA: (I had this!)   
TEREZI: (1f by h4d th1s you m34n sc4r1ng 4 poor wom4n sh1tl3ss 1n th3 m1ddl3 of 4 tr41n st4t1on th3n y3s)  
TEREZI: (you h4d th1s 1n th3 b4g)  
TEREZI: (4nd now 1m t4k1ng th4t b4g 4nd toss1ng 1t 4s f4r 4w4y 4s poss1bl3)  
TEREZI: (you c4nt just st4rt comm1tt1ng cr1m3s th3 d4y you g3t b4ck)   
VRISKA: (Oh come on! It was ONE train ride!)   
TEREZI: (on3 tr41n r1d3 w3 c4n *p4y* for l4t3r!)   
VRISKA: (With what money?? I seriously dou8t you gra88ed anything from John’s hive 8efore we left!)   
TEREZI: ...  
TEREZI: (w3 w1ll th1nk of som3th1ng)

You continue walking off with Vriska in tow, clenching the bone between your teeth again. You feel a tiny bit bad for ruining Vriska’s plan to get you both to the Troll Kingdom, but your stance on law is firm. You’re not going to be known as the woman of justice who broke the law on her first day back. But now, how are you supposed to get there at all? You would suggest having Vriska fly there, and carry you while, but you don’t know the strength of her flying. And even if she’s a strong flyer, what if you fall? There’s too many variables to account for. On the other hand, you _could_ go back to John’s house and ask him for a ride, but you and everyone else involved might find that pretty awkward. Awkward and boring. And even if you tried, he might not be up for it. He’s a good kid, sure, but you’re not sure if being a good kid alone is enough to motivate him to do a favor like that for you. Saving your life is one thing, driving you around is something else. Besides, you’re capable. You don’t _need_ his help.

While you’ve been walking you’ve completely forgotten to actually pay attention to where you’re going, which has led to you wandering aimlessly on autopilot, dragging Vriska behind you throughout. You think Vriska asked you to let go of her arm a moment ago, but you were too deep in thought to register it as anything but white noise. You stop in your tracks, the trance you were in slowly fading. You find that you’ve walked all the way to a nearby park. This works as a place to temporarily settle and plan out what actions to proceed with. You walk a couple more yards and sit down on the nearest bench. While sitting down, you finally decide to let go of Vriska. She rubs her arm as if there had been a bear trap gnawing on it until just a moment ago.

VRISKA: Geez, Pyrope!  
VRISKA: What’s with you?  
VRISKA: I asked you to let go of my arm like, 8 times!  
VRISKA: You know I could have just walked alongside you, right?   
TEREZI: Y34H, SORRY  
TEREZI: 1 GOT C4UGHT UP TH1NK1NG 4BOUT STUFF

You have to slide the cluckbeast bone to the side of your mouth to talk. You’re grateful that she understands that under no conversational circumstances will you ever remove it.

VRISKA: What kind of stuff?  
VRISKA: Can we find somewhere a little more priv8 if this is going to turn into a feelings jam?   
TEREZI: NO 1TS NOT L1K3 TH4T  
TEREZI: 1M JUST TH1NK1NG 4BOUT HOW W3 SHOULD G3T TO TH3 TROLL K1NGDOM  
TEREZI: S1NC3 W3 C4NT JUST B4RG3 1N W1THOUT 4 T1CK3T   
VRISKA: Right.  
VRISKA: Since my plan is apparently COMPLETELY a8surd.  
VRISKA: Why even 8e gods if we’re not going to use our status!

You don’t answer, instead opting to shoot Vriska a semi-stern look before entrancing yourself back in thought. It’s true that letting Vriska do her thing back at the train station would have been easier, but now is no time to dwell on the past. You wonder for a moment if there might be any open housing nearby. That would work. And it wouldn’t be much effort. At the same time, you’d really like to live among other trolls. Or at least know you’re living around them, even if you never actually see them. The familiarity of living among trolls yet distancing yourself from them is something you’re happy to embrace, as long as she’s around with you. In terms of trolls you’re okay with distancing yourself from and trolls you’re not, she falls just short of ‘okay to distance yourself from’.

Now that you think about it, you think you’re kind of... excited to live with her? Despite how she’s proven herself to be a complete disaster at every opportunity, you can’t help but look forward to it. You chalk it up to excitement at the idea of living with your moirail and nothing more, lest your thoughts drift off too much.

You realize you’ve totally blanked out again. Shit! You don’t even know how your thoughts shifted so quickly to her. She’s been an infection in your head that your mind hasn’t been able to fight off ever since she left to fight Lord English, and even more so now that she’s back. You’re not really complaining, it’s just distracting sometimes.

Speak of the devil, she’s trying to get your attention.

VRISKA: Hey.  
VRISKA: Hey!  
VRISKA: Earth C to Terezi!

Vriska has a hand placed on your shoulder, rocking you back and forth. With a quick shake of your head, you’re snapped back into reality. You’re greeted by Vriska’s voice in your ear.

VRISKA: What is UP with you?  
VRISKA: I feel like I’m sitting alone here!  
VRISKA: You’re off in your head having a grand time, idly gnawing on that gross 8one!  
VRISKA: Have you at least thought of what we should do?

Damnit! Right! That was the whole point of you drifting off in thought! You groan in frustration.

TEREZI: UGH!  
TEREZI: R1GHT  
TEREZI: NO, SORRY  
TEREZI: >:[

Vriska stares at you blankly for a moment. You can sense the frustration pooling behind her licorice black irises. 

VRISKA: What!  
VRISKA: Are you serious??  
VRISKA: Come on!  
VRISKA: I’ve 8een sitting here for like, 8 HOURS w8ing for you to finish up the planning party in your head.  
VRISKA: And you come out with NOTHING!  
VRISKA: I’m going to go get us a spot on the next train to the Troll Kingdom, come on.

You sigh and snap the bone in your teeth, then spit the two halves onto the ground.

TEREZI: 4LR1GHT  
TEREZI: F1N3  
TEREZI: W3 C4N S33 1F W3 C4N US3 OUR GOD ST4TUS TO G3T ON TH3 TR41N FOR FR33  
TEREZI: BUT  
TEREZI: YOUR3 GO1NG TO L3T *M3* DO 4LL TH3 T4LK1NG   
VRISKA: 8ut—   
TEREZI: NO 3XC3PT1ONS!

She frowns at you for a moment, and you meet her gaze with steely resolve. Eventually, Vriska turns her head away and kicks at the ground with the tip of her shoe.

VRISKA: Fine.   
TEREZI: TH4NK YOU >:]

You both navigate back to the station. To your relief, the woman that you had spoken to before is no longer there. You make your way to someone behind a glass wall, who seems to be the person you go to for help. When you approach, you find yourself very pleased with Vriska’s distinct lack of sound. Perfect. This will go just fine.

TEREZI: H3LLO  
TEREZI: MY N4M3 1S T3R3Z1 PYROP3 4ND TH1S 1S VR1SK4 S3RK3T

The man’s eyes widen and he leans forward to get a better look. His voice is caught by a microphone which projects his speech more audibly to the other side of the glass.

MAN: Oh my god...  
MAN: It’s you!  
TEREZI: Y3S, 1TS US  
MAN: Wh-what can I do for you?

The amount of respect in his voice has an obvious effect on Vriska. You can practically smell her ego inflating in record speed, up to eight times of its original size.

VRISKA: We want tickets for the train so we can get to the Troll Kingdom.

God dammit Vriska. You stiffen slightly and shoot her a look, and her eyebrows lower a little, but she doesn’t protest.

MAN: Oh!  
MAN: Yes, I’m sure we can get you some tickets.  
MAN: Here, uh...  
MAN: Oh dear...  
MAN: One moment, sorry about that.

He’s fumbling with something under his desk, and his hands are noticeably shaking. You feel a little bit awkward, standing there while he practically breaks down in front of you both in a fit of nerves. Finally, after an excruciatingly long time, he slips two tickets under a slot in the glass.

MAN: Two tickets for the Troll Kingdom express.  
TEREZI: TH4NK YOU V3RY MUCH  
TEREZI: TH1S W4S 4 B1G H3LP

He squirms under the praise and smiles bashfully.

MAN: It was nothing.  
MAN: Anything for the creators of our planet!  
VRISKA: Universe, actually.

You step on Vriska’s foot hard enough for her to flinch, and she elbows you in the ribs in response. The man doesn’t seem to notice or care, so it works out just fine.

You take the tickets and head for the platform’s sliding doors. You hand a ticket to Vriska, and slip your own into the slot in the side of the machine. The glass parts and you step through, and Vriska does the same behind you. 

VRISKA: See how easy that was?  
VRISKA: We could have done that the first time.   
TEREZI: TH3 ONLY R34SON 1T W4S 34SY W4S B3C4US3 W3 D1DNT 3ND UP THR34T3N1NG 4NYON3   
VRISKA: I 8arely threatened that woman at all.   
TEREZI: 1 TH1NK YOU UND3R3ST1M4T3 HOW THR34T3N1NG YOU C4N B3 TO TH3 4V3R4G3 C1V1L14N  
TEREZI: ...  
TEREZI: DONT T4K3 TH4T 4S 4 COMPL1M3NT    
VRISKA: I wasn’t!

She most certainly had been stroking her ego right before your nose at that very moment. You could feel it in her eyes, and you could smell it in her body language.

You sigh probably the deepest sigh in the history of ever, and find a bench to sit on as you wait for the train. Vriska follows without a word, and sits down next to you.

VRISKA: This 8etter not take hours.   
TEREZI: 1 4M SUR3 TH4T 34RTH C H4S V3RY H1GH T3CH TR4NSPORT4T1ON SYST3MS   
VRISKA: You can’t know for sure, can you?  
VRISKA: You haven’t even 8een here much longer than I have.   
TEREZI: ON TH3 CONTR4RY, 1 H4V3 B33N H3R3 PL3NTY LONG 3NOUGH TO KNOW WH4T K1ND OF T3CHNOLOGY R3S1D3S ON 34RTH C  
TEREZI: 1N SHORT:  
TEREZI: 1TS GOOD

Vriska makes a few more grumbled complaints under her breath and taps her foot against the floor with all the patience of a starving junglebeast. Eventually, a train pulls into the station. The inside is polished and futuristic, and you sit with Vriska on the row of seats against the wall. After a moment, the vehicle whirs back to life and speeds down the tracks, carrying you to the Troll Kingdom. It’s one of the last stops, so the two of you wait in relative silence, watching the scenery flit by outside the windows. There are a few other passengers in your compartment, a mix of troll and human. It strikes you as oddly familiar to see the two species so close together. It’s probably due to living on the meteor for almost two sweeps.

At last, you arrive in the Troll Kingdom, and exit the station. It smells how you remember it, like a piece of Alternia was carved out and injected into this portion of Earth C. It’s comforting and unnerving all at once. Vriska’s eyes go wide and she gapes at the city. You think she’s feeling the same thing.

VRISKA: I didn’t...  
VRISKA: I didn’t think it would look THIS good.   
TEREZI: Y34H  
TEREZI: TH3Y D1D 4 GOOD JOB G1V1NG TH3 TROLLS 4 P13C3 OF 4LT3RN14  
TEREZI: 4LTHOUGH 1TS 4 L1TTL3 W31RD  
TEREZI: G1V3N W3R3 TH3 ONLY ON3S WHO H4V3 4CTU4LLY 3V3R S33N 4LT3RN14 PROP3R  
TEREZI: SOM3T1M3S 1 WOND3R 1F 1T W4S 3V3N N3C3SS4RY TO M4K3 TH3 TROLL K1NGDOM LOOK SO S1M1L4R 1F NON3 OF TH3 R3S1D3NTS WOULD 3V3N KNOW TH3 D1FF3R3NC3   
VRISKA: We’ll know the difference.

You suppose she’s right, given that you both will be residents now. You feel a surprising pang of longing for your forest home. You never liked the Alternian cities very much. It was too noisy, too harsh on your senses, even when you had sight. You remember enough of the city’s layout from your first time here that you know more or less where to go. Pulling out your palmhusk, you browse the internet for hives on sale as you walk. Vriska hovers over your shoulder, watching you scroll through various options. 

VRISKA: What kind of place do you want?   
TEREZI: TO B3 HON3ST  
TEREZI: 1 JUST W4NT SOM3TH1NG S1MPL3   
VRISKA: That works for me.

You can hear relief in her voice. It sparks pity in you as you think about her life back on Alternia. The giant castle she lived in, echoing with her lusus’ horrible whispers. You think she’s just as into the idea of a small, comfortable hive as you are. 

VRISKA: You think there are any treehives?   
TEREZI: YOUD W4NT TO L1V3 1N 4 TR33H1V3??

She shrugs nonchalantly, looking away.

VRISKA: I don’t know, it could 8e fun.

She wants to live in a treehive with you. She wants to live in a place that feels like home to you. She wants you to feel like you’re living in a place like home _with her_. The realization makes all sorts of complicated emotions writhe around in your stomach. You don’t know how to express to her in the simplest way possible that no matter where you end up it will feel like home if she’s there with you. 

Instead, you turn your attention back to your palmhusk, the affection that’s blooming in your chest threatening to overwhelm you. Unfortunately, none of the hives available are treehives. You aren’t surprised. You’re pretty sure your hive was a special case, and you don’t think trolls grow up the same way anymore, anyways. Perhaps they’re all just moved into a comfortable place with their lusus, and everyone gets to live an easy life. You feel a little jealous, but it doesn’t last long.

TEREZI: W3LL  
TEREZI: TH3R3S 4 SM4LL H1V3 ON TH3 3DG3 OF TOWN  
TEREZI: 1T WOULD B3 P34C3FUL  
TEREZI: 1TS TWO FLOORS, TWO R3SP1T3BLOCKS, TWO 4BLUT1ONBLOCKS  
TEREZI: TH3R3S 4 COMMON ROOM 4ND 4 M34LBLOCK   
VRISKA: Seems nice.  
VRISKA: Let’s check it out.

You walk through the outskirts of the city, avoiding the main hustle and bustle deep within. There are skyscrapers and drones buzzing about the streets. It provokes an old anxiety in you, and you notice Vriska stiffening up when she sees them, too. 

TEREZI: TH3 DRON3S DONT CULL 4NYMOR3   
VRISKA: They don’t?  
VRISKA: What do they do then?   
TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW 1F TH3Y DO 4NYTH1NG 4T 4LL 4CTU4LLY  
TEREZI: 1 TH1NK TH3YR3 JUST FOR LOOKS 1N SOM3 FUCK3D UP W4Y   
VRISKA: Oh. Wild.

She sighs quietly to herself, but she doesn’t relax. Neither do you.

Finally, you arrive at a little cluster of hives in a small neighborhood. There are groves of trees in between the buildings and grassy yards circling each abode. It’s peaceful, and the city is only a distant conglomeration in the distance. You think this will work nicely.

At the very edge of town, as promised, there is a small two-story hive that’s surrounded by trees, with a full forest behind it. A few trolls are in the yard, typing messages into tablets to beam instructions to the drones floating around the property. One of them looks up at the two of you and nearly drops his tablet. He’s a goldblood, by the smell of him.

???: youre the Gods, arent you???   
VRISKA: That we are.  
VRISKA: We’re here for that hive.   
???: its not entirely ready yet, Ma’am, theres still some furniture we havent added...   
VRISKA: You have drones with you, don’t you?   
VRISKA: Tell them to get to work!  
VRISKA: We want to move in.

You cringe at Vriska’s bossy tone of voice, and move into the yard, extending a hand to the goldblood. He shakes it, eyes full of reverence. The other two trolls are watching with astonished expressions. It makes you a little self-conscious.

TEREZI: T3R3Z1 PYROP3  
TEREZI: TH1S 1S MY MO1R41L VR1SK4 S3RK3T  
TEREZI: W3 R3C3NTLY 4RR1V3D ON 34RTH C 4ND W3R3 LOOK1NG FOR 4 PL4C3 TO ST4Y   
???: its an Honor to meet you, Terezi Pyrope and Vriska Serket...  
???: i must say i never thought in my entire Life that id ever get the chance—  
???: the Privilege, that is...  
???: to meet you both!!!

Vriska makes her way forward and stands imposingly beside you. You suppress a sigh.

VRISKA: Yeah, we know.  
VRISKA: It’s a pretty 8ig deal.  
VRISKA: Can we have the hive?   
???: oh!!!  
???: yes im absolutely certain you could purchase this hive...  
???: please let me check with my Boss, shes just over there, it will only take a moment!!!

He rushes off to a tall rustblood and begins speaking to her enthusiastically. You strain your ears to catch his hushed, fast-paced phrases.

???: ...purchase this hive and i think it would be a very good business offer to accept—   
???: How much are they Offering?   
???: im not sure, but i dont think we should refuse!!!   
VRISKA: You shouldn’t.  
VRISKA: It would 8e 8ad form.   
???: We do not intend to reject your Offer.  
???: How much would you be willing to Pay?

You exchange a glance with Vriska. Before she can speak, you jump in.

TEREZI: HOW MUCH DO YOU W4NT   
???: oh my Gods, oh my Gods, no no no that is simply unnecessary you really dont have to!!!   
???: How would you feel about six Thousand?   
VRISKA: _WH8T????????_

She cowers a little, looking back at her tablet and tapping on the screen several times. 

???: I do not mean to Offend.  
???: It is just that that is the minimum amount it would take to pay back all of my workers in Full.   
TEREZI: W3 COMPL3T3LY UND3RST4ND  
TEREZI: W3 DONT 1NT3ND TO ROB YOU 1 PROM1S3  
TEREZI: _R1GHT_, VR1SK4?

You turn to Vriska with death in your eyes, before turning back to the rustblood to give her your most charming smile. It doesn’t seem to work, she just sweats more profusely. You ignore Vriska’s mumbled protests as you continue.

TEREZI: S3R1OUSLY  
TEREZI: W3 C4N 4FFORD 1T  
TEREZI: DO YOU W4NT S1X THOUS4ND?   
VRISKA: (Terezi can we even give them that much????????)   
TEREZI: (4s youv3 s41d yours3lf, w3r3 gods)  
TEREZI: (w3 c4n prob4bly just m4k3 wh4t3v3r w3 n33d to p4y)   
VRISKA: (That’s currently untested.)  
VRISKA: (It would 8e easier to just threaten them into giving us the place for free.)   
TEREZI: (VR1SK4)  
TEREZI: (1T WOULD B3 UNF41R TO 4SK FOR FR33 L4BOR)  
TEREZI: (4LONG W1TH B31NG SUP3R 1LL3G4L)   
VRISKA: (You and your justice.)

The trolls you’re speaking with seem anxious as they watch you whisper back and forth. To be fair, you’d probably be uneasy if literal gods were whispering about what to do with you right in front of your face. For all they know, you could be about to rain hell upon them. You don’t remember if anyone on Earth C believes you’re benevolent or not. You certainly don’t want to prove anyone wrong if they think you are.

TEREZI: WOULD YOU B3 OK4Y W1TH US P4Y1NG YOU 4T 4 L4T3R D4T3?   
???: yes yes yes that would be completely and totally Fine wouldnt it Boss???   
???: ShhH.  
???: Yes that would be Alright.  
???: Let me give you my contact Information.

She walks over to you and shows you her palmhusk number. You copy it down. 

TEREZI: TH4NK YOU V3RY MUCH  
TEREZI: W3LL S3ND TH3 P4YM3NT BY TOMORROW   
VRISKA: (Ter—)

You pinch Vriska’s arm, hard. 

VRISKA: (Ow! Fff—)   
TEREZI: 1S TH4T 4LR1GHT?   
???: Oh yes that would be just Fine.  
???: Would you like to pick out the furnishings we have yet to Install?   
TEREZI: SUR3

Most of the rest of the day is spent with the trolls working on the hive. The drones bring in furniture that you pick out, you walk through the inside of the hive and inspect everything, Vriska is a little too bossy and you have to shut her up again for the eight hundredth time. Watching the drones fix up the place brings back the distant memory of when you were a wriggler, and you built your treehive. It’s a funny feeling. It’s almost nostalgic, but it’s not enough of a memory you miss to really move you. You think there’s a little too much wrapped up in old Alternia for most of you and your friends to completely look back on it with fondness. 

All in all, the place comes together, and by the end of the day you’re settling into your new hive with Vriska Serket. The drones and the trolls depart, and you’re finding it all a little surreal. You sit down on the couch in the common room and text John, asking him if he knows how to go about making infinite money to pay back the workers. Vriska sits down beside you, and despite the both of you having recuperacoons in your respiteblocks, you fall asleep in each other's arms again, on another couch, in another living room.

This time, it’s all your own.  



	4. Historical Fallacies

  
Your name is Vriska Serket, and it has recently come to your attention that the people of Earth C do not understand how integral you were to the creation of their universe.

You discovered this while you were out of the hive on an errand. You and Terezi had been living in your new home for a little over a week, and every day since you’d moved in had been spent traveling around Earth C to make sure you got acquainted with everything you needed to know. It had been a lot of catching up to do, but Terezi happily played tour guide, and you imagined it would be much better than what the average Earth C tour _could_ have been. Terezi had only brought you to the places that were actually important, hadn’t gotten bogged down on dumb details that neither of you could pretend to care about for even a second, and made sure you had seen all you’d wanted to.

Today was the first day you would no longer be traveling, and it became apparent to the both of you very quickly that you were lacking in the food department. As it was, you offered to go get some food for the day, since it gave you a chance to explore the neighborhood a little more.

Of course, more had transpired than you’d been expecting, _8ut what’s life without a little adventure?_

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] \--  
AG: Hey Terezi!  
AG: Guess what just happened!  
GC: YOU GOT TH3 CH3RRY R3D GRUBT4RTS 4ND YOUR3 COM1NG HOM3??  
AG: ...Fuck.  
AG: Okay, I’ll 8e out a little longer than expected.  
GC: S111GH  
GC: 1 SHOULDV3 KNOWN YOUD G3T D1STR4CT3D  
GC: BUT 4L4S 1 W4S D3ST1N3D TO W41T FOR SW33PS W1TH UNSP34K4BL3 P4T13NC3 FOR THOS3 PROM1S3D GRUBT4RTS TO 4RR1V3   
AG: Oh, why don’t you can it!  
AG: I didn’t get distracted!  
AG: I was doing important work.  
GC: OH?  
GC: L1K3 WH4T >:?  
AG: You know that amateur troll theater company?  
AG: The one that reenacts history?  
GC: Y3S  
GC: WH4T 4BOUT TH3M  
AG: Well I passed 8y their studio on the way to the store, and I saw what production they were doing next.  
AG: Turns out it was a8out us!  
AG: Our final 8attle with the Jacks and Lord English and the Condesce if we’re 8eing precise.  
AG: And I guess those other less important mini-8osses that ran around keeping Jake and Karkat entertained too.   
AG: 8ut anyway, I was curious! So I went in to have a look at what they were doing.  
AG: And get this, it was supposed to 8e a historical reenactment of the moment this universe was cre8ed!  
AG: So naturally you’d expect it to 8e accur8, right??  
AG: 8ut I wasn’t there for some reason!  
AG: Like, at all!  
GC: WOW  
GC: F1ND1NG TH4T OUT MUST H4V3 B33N H4RD FOR YOU  
AG: Don’t p8tronize me.  
AG: Anyway, long story short I gave them a STRICT talking to.  
AG: Apparently they didn’t know I was there with you guys 8ecause I didn’t come through to claim the ultim8 reward right away with everyone else.  
AG: I wasn't considered in their "historical production" as one of the gods, which is just false.  
AG: You know they didn’t even 8elieve me at first when I tried correcting them? The nerve of those people.  
AG: 8ut all I had to do was show off my wings and cool Thief of Light outfit and that shut them up pretty quick.  
AG: Then I proceeded to correct EVERY SINGLE ONE of their mistold events.  
AG: Honestly I was a little em8arrassed for them!  
AG: I told them I'd 8e 8ack for the production and that they 8etter have gotten it right.   
AG: 8ut I 8asically ensured that a 8unch of uneduc8ed civilians didn’t get the historically inaccur8 8ullshit they were presenting originally.  
AG: It's the little things, y'know?   
AG: Can't 8e a 8igshot hero in this day and age.  
AG: So I’m just gonna stick to the gr8er good, even if it’s just small, generous actions.  
GC: S1GH  
GC: WHY 4R3 YOU L1K3 TH1S  
AG: Excuse me for helping some people!  
AG: I’m sure it’s going to turn out gr8. ::::)  
GC: Y34H R1GHT   
GC: 1 C4NT W41T TO SM3LL WH4T 4 SH1TSHOW TH4T PL4Y 1S GO1NG TO B3   
AG: Hey!  
AG: If anything it’ll smell like LESS of a shitshow now that I’ve had my way with it.  
AG: I made good changes!  
AG: You’re acting as if I made it all a8out me!  
GC: D1D YOU NOT DO 3X4CTLY TH4T?  
AG: No!  
AG: Well.  
AG: I’m IN it, o8viously.  
AG: I’m as relevant in the play as I should 8e.  
AG: 8ased on what’s historically accur8.  
GC: R1GHT R1GHT   
GC: H1STOR1C4LLY 4CCUR4T3  
AG: I’m serious!  
AG: I 8et their company would’ve completely crashed and 8urned if I hadn’t corrected them.  
AG: That play would have 8een a total flop!  
AG: 8ut now it’ll 8e a REAL historical reenactment, which is their entire point!  
AG: I mean come on.  
AG: You said they did a play a8out the Mayor and the founding of Can Town a couple days ago, right?  
GC: Y34H  
AG: Well wouldn’t it have 8een a COMPLETE DISASTER if there had 8een NO MAYOR in the entire thing?  
AG: It wouldn’t have 8een historical!  
GC: OH Y3S TH4T WOULD H4V3 B33N 4 TR4V3STY  
GC: 1 DONT KNOW HOW 1 WOULD H4V3 COP3D W1TH TH4T  
AG: ::::\  
AG: Sarcasm aside, it’s the same here too.  
AG: What final 8attle would there 8e without me?  
AG: You KNOW I was important in the final 8attle!  
AG: Without me we would have never defeated Lord English!  
GC: D1DNT W3 GO OV3R HOW NO ON3 KNOWS 1F H3S R34LLY D3F34T3D??  
GC: H3S DUB1OUSLY M1SS1NG 1N 4CT1ON 4T B3ST  
AG: He hasn’t shown up to trash this universe, therefore I’m making the call that it was a sound 8eating.  
AG: Case closed.  
AG: And aside from that, wasn’t the whole retcon done to make sure we didn’t have another game over?  
AG: And wasn’t one of the 8IGGEST retcons making sure that I would 8e around to keep everyone in shape?  
AG: Sounds like I’m at least a liiiiiiiittle important to warrant all that.  
AG: May8e I deserve to 8e the center of one little old play!  
GC: H4H!  
GC: 4S 1F YOU H4V3NT N33D3D TO B3 TH3 C3NT3R OF L1TTL3 OLD 3V3RYTH1NG  
GC: 1 B3T MY 4LT3RN4T3 S3LF ONLY R3TCONN3D YOUR D34TH SO YOU WOULDNT OV3RTURN TH3 3NT1R3 4FT3RL1F3 1N 4N 4TT3MPT TO D1G UP SOM3 R3L3V4NC3  
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3  
GC: GOOD TH4T SH3 D1D THOUGH  
GC: 1M GL4D TO H4V3 YOU H3R3  
GC: 1F ONLY B3C4US3 1T M34NS W3 D1DNT 3ND UP 1N 4 DOOM3D T1M3L1N3  
AG: Right, right.  
AG: Just for that one reason. :::;)  
GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3  
AG: <>  
GC: <>  
AG: Alright, I’ll 8e 8ack soon.  
AG: I’m going to go get your gru8tarts.  
GC: MY H3RO!  
GC: SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOON >;]  
\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] \--

You have to take a moment to pull the smile off your face before you head back to the store. _Can’t 8e looking like a dopey wriggler when you’re out in pu8lic. It’s just 8ad form for a god._

You enter the store and take your CPCard out of your sylladex. Your Ceramic Porkhollow Card (CPCard for short) is a special item that Jane had made which contains a very excessive amount of boonbucks left over from her days as heiress to the Betty Crocker company, that could be used by all the gods who had a copy. It had been very useful in paying back the hive workers, and it also meant that, conveniently, you could get just about anything you wanted. 

You end up buying enough cherry grubtarts to fill your entire hungertrunk, and only after do you realize that you’ll probably want something else to eat after about the eighth tart. You pack away the grubtarts in your sylladex, make sure you still have plenty of room, and then proceed to go on the biggest shopping spree ever done in the history of Paradox Space. _After all, Serkets only settle for the 8est._

You return home and enter your hive. It’s lit only by the sun streaming in from outside, given that Terezi doesn’t need light to see. Your vision adjusts enough that you can comfortably move around in the half-light, and you spot Terezi on the couch, perking up as she notices your entrance.

TEREZI: D1D YOU G3T TH3 GRUBT4RTS   
VRISKA: Of course I did!  
VRISKA: What do you take me for?   
TEREZI: UNR3L14BL3 4T B3ST   
VRISKA: Rude.  
VRISKA: You’re a8out to 8e proven wrong.

You dump the entirety of the food contents in your sylladex onto the floor. Terezi’s eyes go wide, even though it’s not really necessary for her to do so. The effect is appreciated, though. It makes you feel validated. Most of what is visible are the grubtarts.

TEREZI: OH MY GOD  
TEREZI: YOU 4CTU4LLY D1D TH4T   
VRISKA: I actually did that.   
TEREZI: YOU 4CTU4LLY W3NT 4ND GOT TH3M   
VRISKA: I actually went and got them!

Terezi’s grin threatens to split her face open and she dashes towards the pile of food, almost careening into it. She pulls you into a tight hug for a brief moment, and your brain bluescreens for what feels like eight eternities, but in reality is closer to eight seconds.

When she releases you, you feel all the warmth drain from your body with her.

TEREZI: 1M GO1NG TO 34T 4LL OF TH3S3  
TEREZI: R1GHT NOW   
VRISKA: You might want to pace yourself, y’know.   
TEREZI: WH4TS TH4T  
TEREZI: "P4C3 YOURS3LF"??  
TEREZI: N3V3R H34RD OF 1T

She rips open the first package of grubtart and stuffs a handful in her mouth. Red grubsauce threatens to paint her entire face with just the first bite. _God, that’s adora8le. And funny. Mostly funny._ You force yourself to laugh at her, if only to fend off whatever thoughts you had which you’re not going to mention from this point onward.

VRISKA: This is just like last week when you were eating like a starved choler8ear.  
VRISKA: Do ever eat like a normal troll?

Terezi faces you, a fistful of eviscerated grubtart in one hand, and plenty more smashed against the parts of her cheeks that border her mouth.

TEREZI: NOP3 >:]

She grins at you, her teeth covered in bits of slimy grubtart. Even as gross as it is... 

_...It’s a little endearing._

You don’t have any sort of comeback for that though, so you sit down beside her and unwrap a grubtart for yourself.

VRISKA: So, in a few days that play is performed.   
TEREZI: 1S TH1S TH3 S4M3 ON3 FROM 34RL13R  
TEREZI: TH3 ON3 YOU FORC3D TH3M TO COMPL3T3LY R3WR1T3?   
VRISKA: Not COMPLETELY.  
VRISKA: 8ut yeah, that one.   
TEREZI: 4ND YOU W4NT TO GO S33 1T   
VRISKA: Of course!  
VRISKA: I was hoping we could see it together.   
TEREZI: TH4TS SW33T  
TEREZI: BUT ONLY ON3 OF US W1LL B3 *S331NG* 1T   
VRISKA: Oh.

You try to hide your disappointment. You really thought that she would accept. You had a whole night planned out in your head, but...

_W8, what’s she laughing a8out?_

TEREZI: OH MY GOG  
TEREZI: VR1SK4 YOUR3 SO GULL1BL3  
TEREZI: 1M BL1ND R3M3MB3R??   
VRISKA: What?  
VRISKA: Oh.  
VRISKA: I know!  
VRISKA: I knew that!  
VRISKA: So only one of us will _see_ it, whatever!  
VRISKA: I knew what you meant.  
VRISKA: I was just psyching you out!   
TEREZI: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4!  
TEREZI: 4DM1T 1T  
TEREZI: YOU W3R3 WORR13D 1 W4S R3J3CT1NG YOU   
VRISKA: _WHAT??_  
VRISKA: PFF!  
VRISKA: _Noooooooo._   
TEREZI: YOU W3R3 4BSOLUT3LY *WR4CK3D* W1TH F34R!   
VRISKA: _Terezi!_

She looks over at you, eyebrow raised and a smirk on her lips.

VRISKA: I _wasn’t!_

She rolls her eyes, rolling her head with the motion to make it more obvious given her lack of discernible pupils, and takes another bite. You avoid looking at her and finish your grubtart, then begin sorting through the copious amounts of food you have. She rips another two out of their packages and begins to feast on those as well.

TEREZI: DO W3 3FEM HMFF 3MUFF F4F3 FOW 4W OF H1SS?   
VRISKA: Gross, don't speak while your mouth is full!

Terezi swallows what she was chewing on, then reiterates. 

TEREZI: DO W3 3V3N H4V3 3NOUGH SP4C3 FOR 4LL OF TH1S?   
VRISKA: Yeah.  
VRISKA: Or, I mean, no.  
VRISKA: May8e?  
VRISKA: We pro8a8ly will 8y the time you’re done.

She snickers and shoves some more grubtart in her mouth.

TEREZI: CH4LL3NG3 4CC3PT3D >:]

You put away the food you can fit into the hungertrunk, leaving the grubtarts out in a pile on the floor. About a third of them have been reduced to wrappers. Terezi seems to have a bottomless pit for an acid tract when it comes to cherry flavored foods. She takes a moment’s pause to survey what’s left, then looks up at you.

TEREZI: DO YOU TH1NK YOULL W4NT 4NY MOR3   
VRISKA: May8e a couple.   
TEREZI: OK

Terezi captchalogues most of the remaining grubtarts, leaving some on the floor for you among a pile of empty packaging.

_One, two, three... four... Aw, she counted out 8 just for you!_

You scoop the eight grubtarts up in your arms and shove them into various empty cracks and crevices left in the hungertrunk.

TEREZI: 1M GO1NG TO ST4SH TH3S3 1N MY R3SP1T3BLOCK  
TEREZI: WH3N 1 G3T B4CK W3 SHOULD W4TCH L3G1SL4C3R4TORS 4ND ORD34LS  
TEREZI: 1TS COM1NG ON SOON   
VRISKA: That show’s so fake.  
VRISKA: Why do you even like it?   
TEREZI: >:O  
TEREZI: 1TS FUN!  
TEREZI: 4ND 1 L1K3 GU3SS1NG TH3 MYST3RY B3FOR3 1TS R3V34L3D  
TEREZI: TH3 COURT SC3N3S 4R3 DR4M4T1C!   
VRISKA: They’re not as dramatic as REAL Alternian courts.  
VRISKA: They’re like softer Earth C "trollian" courts.  
VRISKA: There’s hardly any 8lood.   
TEREZI: Y34H W3LL  
TEREZI: R34L 4LT3RN14N COURTS DONT 3X1ST 4NYMOR3  
TEREZI: WH4T D1D YOU 3XP3CT FROM 4 SHOW M4D3 ON 34RTH C??  
TEREZI: B3S1D3S  
TEREZI: 1TS ST1LL 3NT3RT41N1NG 4ND 1T P4SS3S TH3 T1M3  
TEREZI: JUST L3T M3 *3NJOY TH1NGS* VR1SK4   
VRISKA: Fine, fine.  
VRISKA: If only to get you to stop whining and fussing and complaining a8out it!

She flashes you a grin and you can’t help but return it. Her smile is infectious.

You watch her retreat upstairs to her respiteblock before you head to the couch. You sit down and turn on the television, flipping through the channels until you find the start of _Legislacerators and Ordeals_. You figure you might as well get it set up so Terezi can watch it the instant she returns.

You spend the rest of the evening snuggled up on the couch together under a blanket, eating popped kernels and making bets on who the guilty party is for each episode as it plays. She wins most, you almost win others, and overall it’s a nice night spent with your moirail, and an even nicer night when you fall asleep on the couch with her curled up next to you.

You realize that maybe getting two separate rooms with recuperacoons was a bit of a moot point.

* * *

A few days pass, and soon the morning of the play arrives. You could not be more excited. It’s scheduled to start at 4:00 PM, and you wake up earlier than usual, 8:00 AM on the dot. _Figures._

You double check the time of the play, plan exactly how long it will take you to get there and exactly when you and Terezi should leave. You’re not usually this particular, but you want to make sure everything goes smoothly. You really, really don’t want to be disappointed, either. If the director didn’t take your critiques seriously, you’re going to rain hell down on them. Not violently, of course. You’re not _that_ crazy.

You do, however, allow yourself a moment of honesty to note that you will, in fact, stop the play from your place in the audience if you see them going off your script suggestions with wild abandon. One minor mistake here or there is fine, but nothing major. This play, despite you only knowing of it for a few days, feels like your own lusus, if you’d had one that you’d actually liked. You’ve gotta protect it from harm that the fallacies of those involved with its production may want to inflict on it. It might as well be your intellectual property if they incorporate all of the changes you suggested, which they should have.

You’re downstairs watching TV by the time Terezi wakes. She gets up closer to 11:00, and makes her way downstairs with a bit of recuperacoon slime still trailing behind her bare feet. This was one of the rare times that you both actually slept in your respective respiteblocks.

You take a moment longer than you mean to just to stare at her while she passes through the common room towards the meal block. She has one of her signature Libra shirts on, scalemate boxers, and her glasses on a tiny bit crooked. Her hair is a mess, and the strands closest to her shoulders still have sopor slime stuck to them. 

There’s something you find particularly appealing about messy, sleepy Terezi. It feels vulnerable, in a trusting and safe kind of way. Genuine, maybe? Usually her mind is so sharp, electricity flowing through it constantly, updating every part, lighting up the board. She’s alert and active, on guard in a sense. But here she’s more relaxed. The electricity takes its time travelling between nerves. The board lights up at its own pace. It’s nice, you think.

You watch her all the way until she disappears into the adjacent meal block. _What’s the matter with you?_ You shake your head as if leaving a trance, and turn your attention back to the screen across from you.

VRISKA: Morning.  
VRISKA: Some reruns of _Legislacer8rs and Ordeals_ are going to 8e on in a couple minutes if you want to watch.

Terezi shuffles out of the meal block and yawns. She has a grubtart with a sizeable bite out of it in one hand. She casually walks up to the couch, and uses her free hand to motion for you to scoot over. You do so, and she plops down next to you.

TEREZI: DO YOU KNOW WH4T 3P1SOD3 1S UP N3XT   
VRISKA: No. I don’t think it says.  
VRISKA: It’s just... an episode.

Terezi gives an acknowledging "HMM". She turns her attention to the TV, and sits contentedly while the last of the morning weather forecast plays out. 

_Legislacerators and Ordeals_ starts only a few minutes later, and you’re both instantly enthralled in it. You don’t really care for it, but seeing Terezi get so into it is enough to keep you interested. You may not look it, but you’re hanging on to every bit of commentary Terezi is giving. Every "TH4T WOULDNT H4PP3N 1N R34L COURT", every "TH3YR3 OBV1OUSLY GU1LTY!", all of it becomes input, gets processed, and is then stored for later use in your brain, all under the guise of casual listening. You’re internally congratulating yourself for being so good at caring about whatever she likes.

It’s three hours later by the time the reruns are over. You feel like you’re waking up from a semi-lucid dream as you look around for the clock. 3:15 PM. Good. You still have plenty of time to get ready and head over to the theater. 

You turn your head to your right and your gaze is met by a head of black hair, and horns as pointed as daggers, close enough to skewer your face if you’re not careful. She’s slumped back against the couch, leaning on you. 

VRISKA: Hey.

You tap Terezi on the shoulder. She gives no indication that she’s even conscious, aside from a quiet "HMM?" that’s laced with sleepiness.

VRISKA: Evening, sunshine.   
VRISKA: We should leave for the play soon.

Terezi sits up and stretches her arms up above her head, then sighs. 

TEREZI: WH4T T1M3 1S 1T?   
VRISKA: 3:15. The play is in a8out forty five minutes.   
TEREZI: *Y4WN*  
TEREZI: 4LR1GHT

The sleepy tealblood stands up from the couch, rolling her shoulders once she’s on her feet.

TEREZI: 4R3 W3 L34V1NG R1GHT NOW?  
TEREZI: SHOULD 1 GO CH4NG3?   
VRISKA: Yeah, sure. Unless you want to stay in your underwear.  
VRISKA: Although I can’t imagine that those 8oxers are any warm.   
TEREZI: 1 F3LT 4 LOT W4RM3R WH3N 1 W4S W4TCH1NG TV  
TEREZI: M4YB3 1 SHOULD H4V3 YOU CL1NG TO MY L3GS WH1L3 W3 GO TO TH3 PL4Y  
TEREZI: YOU C4N B3 MY P4NTS FOR TH3 N1GHT >:]   
VRISKA: Hahaha!  
VRISKA: You wish.   
TEREZI: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3  
TEREZI: OK BUT S3R1OUSLY 1M GO1NG TO GO CH4NG3

And without another word she’s out of the living room and up the stairs. You had just been planning to wear your godtier outfit, yourself. You idly wonder what she’s going to wear. _She looks good in anything, platonically speaking._ Nevertheless, that doesn’t stop you from being curious. That dragon hoodie she has is awfully cute, but not really in line with typical attire worn to a play. Or attire worn anywhere you know of, really. Then again, Terezi isn’t the type to avoid wearing something purely because of social norms surrounding outfits. That’s one of the things you love about her. _Whoa, strong phrasing. You mean like. Like a8out her._

Before you can come to any solid conclusions, she comes back down the stairs in her normal garb, brandishing her canesword. You, on the other hand, phase into your godtier outfit when you head for the front door. She gives you a funny look.

TEREZI: 4R3 YOU M4K1NG SUR3 TH4T NOBODY 1S 1GNOR4NT TO YOU GOD ST4TUS? >:]   
VRISKA: No.  
VRISKA: Sort of.  
VRISKA: Look, it’s just in case!  
VRISKA: If those playwrights didn’t know a8out me then may8e the pu8lic won’t either.  
VRISKA: 8esides, what’s the point in having this sweet god gar8 if I’m not going to flaunt it?   
TEREZI: 1TS 4MUS1NG TO M3 TH4T YOUR3 UND3R TH3 1MPR3SS1ON 3V3RYON3 WONT B3 4BL3 TO H34R YOUR LOUD GODLY COMM3NT4RY THROUGHOUT TH3 3NT1R3 PRODUCT1ON   
VRISKA: There’s going to 8e NONE of that!  
VRISKA: Unless there needs to 8e.  
VRISKA: 8ut there won’t 8e, 8ecause I’m 8etting on them getting everything just right!   
TEREZI: R111GHT  
TEREZI: W3LL 1TS 4 P1TY TH4T 1 N3V3R W3NT GODT13R  
TEREZI: 1LL B3 JUST L1K3 ON3 OF TH3 COMMON FOLK   
VRISKA: It’s not like that!  
VRISKA: Everyone already knows you as a god!  
VRISKA: You came into the new universe with everyone else, remem8er?   
TEREZI: 1M JUST JOK1NG VR1SK4  
TEREZI: NO N33D TO B3 SO S3NS1T1V3

You scoff and roll your eyes, and she laughs at you with undisguised fondness. Before you can linger in the sound for too long, you open the door.

VRISKA: Anyway.  
VRISKA: We might as well get going now.  
VRISKA: Gotta 8e sure we get good seats!   
TEREZI: L34D TH3 W4Y

You head towards the theater, which hasn’t even developed a line yet, and make a point of flaunting your bright pajamas and wings to the ticket vendor. She lets you go in without paying, which Terezi seems eager to complain about, but you usher her in quickly before there can be any verbal disagreements.

The theater is still relatively empty, and you aim for the best seats for the prime viewing experience. This happens to be on the balcony, in the front row. The chairs are sort of shabby, but they’re not terribly uncomfortable. You and Terezi sit side by side, and she props her cane up against the polished wooden banister. 

TEREZI: 1 C4NT W41T TO SM3LL HOW 4WFUL TH1S 1S  
TEREZI: 1 C4N PR4CT1C4LLY T4ST3 TH3 S3LF-4GGR4ND1Z1NG S3RK3T D14LOGU3 4LR34DY   
VRISKA: Ha!  
VRISKA: It might 8e amusingly 8ad in the way that semi-professional plays are.  
VRISKA: 8ut they 8etter have taken my advice.  
VRISKA: Or it'll 8e 8ad in an unamusing way.   
TEREZI: ON3 C4N ONLY HOP3  
TEREZI: FOR TH3 S4K3 OF TH3 3NT1R3 4UD13NC3 4ND 3V3RYON3S S4N1TY

You give her a withering look. She pretends not to notice, but you can see a wry smirk at the corner of her mouth. The lighting of the room is dim with the stage lights on, and it washes her face with a golden glow. You realize you’re staring and snap your focus onto the ground floor below, leaning back and propping your legs up on the railing. More and more trolls are filling in below and behind you. You check your palmhusk impatiently, keeping track of the time. You’re distantly aware of your free hand tapping a rhythm on the arm of the chair.

Terezi gives you a little shoulder pat, and you glance over at her.

VRISKA: What?   
TEREZI: R3L4X  
TEREZI: 4LSO G3T YOUR F33T OFF TH3 B4N1ST3R 4ND PUT YOUR W1NGS 4W4Y  
TEREZI: YOUR3 GO1NG TO BLOCK P3OPL3S V13WS

You heave a long suffering sigh and comply. A few minutes later, the lights onstage begin to dim as the actors shuffle audibly into their places, and the medium-sized crowd of audience members falls into a hush. Terezi fidgets a little beside you, like she’s trying to get comfortable, and then _she’s leaning over and resting her head on your shoulder and you’re in pu8lic and you feel like you’re going to explode????????_

Naturally, you respond by going abnormally still and ensuring that you don’t move an inch so as not to disrupt her. The play begins, with various trolls dressed as shabby impressions of you and your fellow players gearing up for the final battle. Terezi perks up a little, her head not leaving your shoulder, and takes a few sniffs. You realize that the balcony seat is far enough away from the stage that everything might be a little blurry for her. _Dammit. Good move, dum8ass._

TEREZI: H3Y, 1 JUST R34L1Z3D 1M BL1ND, C4N YOU T3LL M3 WH4TS H4PP3N1NG >:?   
VRISKA: Pff—  
VRISKA: Hahahahahahahaha!  
VRISKA: Right!  
VRISKA: Nothing's happening yet, they're just starting up with the lame exposition we already know 8ecause it's a8out us.

Some people behind you loudly shush you, and you whip around and bare your teeth at them. They instantly fall back, pacified. 

As the production continues, each player in their cohort gets introduced. As soon as the troll playing Vriska steps up the word choice becomes flowery and aggrandizing, as predicted. Heroic, brave, mighty, great, practically every positive word in the dictionary can be heard. Terezi smirks at you.

TEREZI: (oh h3r3 com3 your sugg3st1ons 4lr34dy) >:P   
VRISKA: (I didn’t tell them to say that!)   
TEREZI: (y34h r1ght, 4s 1f you 4r3nt lov1ng 3v3ry word of th1s)   
VRISKA: (I am NOT!)   
TEREZI: (h3h3h3h3, sur3 your3 not)   
VRISKA: (Shut up!)   
TEREZI: >:P

The final battle begins. It becomes apparent to anyone in the know that it isn’t historically accurate. Luckily for you, the only other person in the know aside from you is Terezi, which means no one but you two can pinpoint the error.

The ‘error’ being, if it could even be called as much, that Vriska shows up in places where she never actually was. In fact, she shows up in just about _every_ place that the real you didn’t, and shows up even more in the places where the real you did. Actor-you takes part in the battle with the Condesce, and in the battle with the two Jacks. She’s the one who deals the finishing blow to the Condesce, and also the one who cuts off Dirk’s head. You expect Terezi to say something about it, and she does as soon as she gets a whiff.

TEREZI: (vr1sk4 oh my gog you w3r3nt 3v3n th3r3!!)   
VRISKA: (I didn't tell them to include all of this!)  
VRISKA: (I just said that I was actually there AT ALL instead of 8eing a random no8ody that NO ONE knew a8out!)   
TEREZI: (uh huuuuuuuuh) >:]   
TEREZI: (th4ts 31ght ‘u’s just to show how much 1 dont b3l13v3 4 s1ngl3 word out of your mouth)   
VRISKA: (I DIDN'T!)

She claps her hand over your mouth.

TEREZI: (shhh!)  
TEREZI: (1m try1ng to l1st3n!)

You grumble, but keep quiet as the play continues moving onwards. There’s quite a lot of detail about the big battle against Lord English. For the most part, however, the fight goes according to reality, with the ghost army dealing a lot of the blows and you standing back for a bit. Of course, also like in reality, you are the one who ends up deploying the juju and there’s a lot of spotlight on the Vriska character as she dramatically opens it, delivering the finishing blow and defeating Lord English. 

VRISKA: (See? It's not all false!)   
TEREZI: (ok th4t *on3* p4rt w4s prob4bly tru3)   
VRISKA: (Listen! I didn't purposefully try to get them to put me in every part of the story.)  
VRISKA: (Just SOME parts.)  
VRISKA: (More than NOTHING.)   
VRISKA: (And maaaaaaaay8e I said that if I didn't see myself in at _least_ four scenes I'd 8e very VERY upset.)   
TEREZI: (th3r3 1t 1s)  
TEREZI: (d1d you s4y four sc3n3s or forty?) >:P   
VRISKA: (FOUR!)

The loud shushing from the audience returns, but this time you’re too embarrassed to snap at them. You hunch your shoulders and cross your arms, glaring at Terezi.

VRISKA: (Would you just can it already?)  
VRISKA: (People are getting annoyed with our 8ickering!)

Terezi stares blankly at you for a moment, before lifting a single finger to your lips, all while maintaining eye contact.

TEREZI: (shhhh!) >:]   
VRISKA: >::::\

You begrudgingly turn your attention back to the stage. The play is beginning to draw to a close. The Lord English fight had arguably been the most accurate part of the show yet, and everything after is also surprisingly realistic. The kids meet back up on the victory platform, Dirk is revived, and John and his alternate universe dad meet each other. The Genesis Frog is born and sent towards Skaia, which turns the SBURB logo on the victory platform white. Earth is prepared for its introduction into the new universe, where the Jade-actor and the Dave-actor do some fancy maneuvers that you think are meant to symbolize their space and time powers, respectively. Someone swaps the barren little Earth ball with a greener, more vibrant one, and John prepares to open the door. 

Then the Terezi-actor points to something a little further down the stage. Realistically, she’s angled a few degrees off-target. The target itself is your actor portrayal, coming back victorious from the Lord English fight. The Vriska-actor lands on the victory platform, she and Terezi hug, and then everyone steps into the new universe together. The curtains draw to a close, reopen with the cast bowing, and the audience applauds.

You’re pointedly not looking at Terezi, but you can practically feel her grin and you can hear her snickers despite the enthusiastic clapping. Neither her nor you rise from your seats to join in.

TEREZI: OH MY GOG  
TEREZI: TH4T W4S SO B4D  
TEREZI: 1 LOV3D 1T   
VRISKA: Yeah.  
VRISKA: Pretty fucking inaccur8.  
VRISKA: It was more like a dum8 fairy tale than real life.  
VRISKA: I didn’t want all that shit!  
VRISKA: I just wanted it to 8e more realistic, like it actually happened!   
TEREZI: D1D YOU T3LL TH3M TO M4K3 US HUG TOO?  
TEREZI: 1S TH4T YOUR W4Y OF B31NG SUBTL3? >;]

You freeze up and find yourself unable to respond for a painfully long moment.

VRISKA: ...  
VRISKA: ...No.

Terezi smiles wide and leans closer to you, her voice dropping into a half-whisper.

TEREZI: (do you w4nt to hug vr1sk4)  
TEREZI: (would you l1k3 us to 3mbr4c3)

You sit bolt upright and shift away from her.

VRISKA: (Not _now_, no!)   
TEREZI: (com3 ov3r h3r3)   
VRISKA: (No no no oh my GOD!)

You squirm away from her arms but to no avail. She wraps you in a tight hug and nuzzles her face into your neck. You’re inwardly panicking and probably going blue in the face _and did some fucker just go "aww" or was that your imagin8tion shit shit shit SHIT you have to LEAVE NOW —_

You clear your throat awkwardly, and Terezi seems to realize that people are staring. She releases you, and you brush down your clothes. She coughs and looks away, shifts to the edge of her seat.

VRISKA: So uh.  
VRISKA: Now that it’s done we should pro8a8ly go.   
TEREZI: Y34H  
TEREZI: L3TS DO TH4T

You exit hastily before anyone can swarm you. You’re pretty sure that quite a few of the audience members are whispering about their gods being here, and even though normally you would love to sit around and soak up all the attention, you really cannot be bothered right now. Right now, your cheeks are burning, and you have this desperate urge to _get outside this instant 8efore anyone can even try to stop you._

When you exit into the street, you head for the park nearby so you can disappear amongst the trees. Terezi follows close on your heels. When you’re sure you’ve gotten far enough away from the theater, you sit down on a bench and let out a sigh, tipping back your head. Terezi hovers next to you.

TEREZI: SO  
TEREZI: W3R3 YOU 4T L34ST S4T1SF13D W1TH TH3 R3SULTS   
VRISKA: Huh?   
TEREZI: OF TH3 PL4Y   
VRISKA: Oh.  
VRISKA: I guess?  
VRISKA: I mean, I didn’t tell them EXACTLY what to do.  
VRISKA: I didn’t have anything specific in mind.  
VRISKA: I just gave them some pointers and descri8ed a lot of the parts they got wrong.

You risk a glance in her direction and feel yourself get bloodpusher palpitations when you notice she’s smiling to herself. Her hands are rested on the dragon’s head of her cane, and she’s idly staring off into the distance. You feel a burning desire to ask her what she’s thinking, but your tongue is like lead in your mouth.

TEREZI: FOR TH3 R3CORD  
TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT TH3 3ND1NG W4S SW33T  
TEREZI: 1F 1N4CCUR4T3

You find your voice again, and force it calm.

VRISKA: You did?

She nods, turning to you. You can’t meet her eyes, it’s like looking into the sun. The irony of that sends a little jolt down your spine, and you bite back a laugh.

TEREZI: 1 GU3SS 1T W4S JUST N1C3 TO S33 1T 3ND TH4T W4Y  
TEREZI: 1NST34D OF WH4T R34LLY H4PP3N3D  
TEREZI: 1M SUR3 YOU DONT N33D M3 TO T3LL YOU TH4T 1 WOULDV3 L1K3D TO H4V3 CL41M3D TH3 ULT1M4T3 R3W4RD W1TH YOU BY MY S1D3   
VRISKA: Yeah.

Your throat feels all closed up. _Why now????????_

VRISKA: Me too.

She doesn’t ask you to confirm or deny whether you’d purposefully added that part in, or if it was just more symptoms of the director taking your request to be more present very literally. You’re grateful for that. You’re not sure you could give her the truthful answer if she did.

She sits down in the empty space left on the bench. You’re still looking out at the trees and grassy fields, the little gravel walkways that some trolls are strolling down in the distance. You’re pretty sure she’s facing the same direction. There’s a significant spike in your blood pressure when you feel her fingers curling around your hand, but you return the hold and lean against her ever so slightly. You tentatively rest your heads together and watch the sun turn the sky orange on the horizon.  



End file.
